Wednesday, June 16, 2010

A deep philosophical question...

I've read before that the quote about the tree falling in the forest is one of the most profound of all philosophical quotations.

So, I think you're gonna be impressed with me when I ask my query.

Here it is.

If someone does something that their family thinks is nice but it is really evil, is it evil?

Don't say "huh?" to me.

Haven't you been reading my blog long enough now to know that my mind is all twisty and convoluted?

Oh.

You are new to my blog?

Ummm....

Then...

Ummm...

OK, this is just a momentary lapse off my normal path of control, reason and a totally organized posting schedule.

Ummm...

OK, then.

Back to my deep thoughts.

Well, is it?

Did you forget the question already?

OK. Geez.

If someone does something that their family thinks is nice but it is really evil, is it evil?

The reason I ask this is simple.

When I go for my walk every morning my path takes me by this house situated at about the one mile mark.

It is an ordinary looking house. There are some older people that live there. They are both kinda/sorta skinny in the way that old people have that you know means they've always been thin. Rather than that skinny way that sometimes old people have that you know means they are very, very sick and you feel all horrible for them.

If these people were the last skinny I would never, ever write this post. Because I would be all sad and probably have to write a post about appreciating every moment in life and blah, blah, blah.

But because they are the first type of skinny, I can write this in good conscience. Since they're not all sick skinny, you know?

So...

The evil part is this.

Every single morning she is baking something in that house before 6 am. The smell wafts out of their house, across a little field, through some overgrown bushes and ASSAULTS me! Some mornings it smells like biscuits baking. Some mornings it is cupcakes or cinnamon rolls or bacon and pancakes. This morning it smelled totally, exactly like cherry pie. I kid you not!

This is evil, right?

I mean even if she is a nice healthy skinny old person, it is still cruel right?

And I'm just not sure how to resolve this problem.

Sure, I could walk a different way but doesn't that infringe upon my rights as an American to walk whichever direction I want to ON A PUBLIC THOROUGHFARE.

Technically, I know it is her right as an American to bake whatever she wants to, but isn't it evil to release those scents from her private domicile into the AIRSPACE SURROUNDED A PUBLIC THROUGHFARE?

Because this totally fits right into the big philosophical question...If someone does something that their family thinks is nice but it is really evil, is it evil?

Because, to be totally honest it sure feels evil to me.

And I don't understand how such a kind looking, nice healthy skinny old person can be so cruely malicious.

I'm trying really, really hard not to be a hater here...but this woman is really pushing the edges of my control!

I mean, seriously...baking cherry pie before 6 am. What is the world coming to?

Sigh.

post signature

61 comments:

Ocean Girl said...

This question must be posed to the Environmental Protection Agency, whether or not it violates any pollution or smell ordinance.

Jojo said...

Okay, so you said it is her American right. Agreed. Then she's baking the most American dessert - pie. Cherry pie, no less. She sounds all-American to me, not evil.

Okay, the offensive act in this story is not that she's baking but that she's not inviting you in for coffee and pie! But then again, these are the same neighbors who see you coming and put out the garage sale signs!! Enterprising folks they are. Jenny, you have a great, American neighborhood~

Paula said...

LOL...Jenny you're a trip! Tell yourself it's just a Yankee candle and keep walking!! :)

Terra said...

She clearly wakes up in the morning intent on making your walk as difficult as possible therefor it is in fact evil. (ha ha)

ain't for city gals said...

I think she is doing a good thing...she is making you a stronger person....helping you learn you can over come!!!There are always going to be cherry pies in our paths...we can do it!!!

jane said...

i totally agree with you. you have every right to hate her:)

Ace said...

LMAO...I was sitting here wondering how, if an act was evil, anyone would think it was nice...then I read the rest of the story. Personally? I'd start making comments every morning about how great it smells and I'd keep it up till they invite me in or send me on my way with a care package. Maybe you could even train them to meet you along the path?

Terry said...

Oh the problems you have to deal with! ROFL!! :0)

Meri Wiley said...

Dearest Jenny,

Thank you so very much for your most awesome hospitality yesterday. You are one of the most original and sincere people I've met. Your home is just an extension of your lovely self, warm, safe, etc. I look forward to many more visits to your sanctuary. Thank you also for your genuine concern about my health issues, I look forward to hearing more about the information you mentioned.

As for your neighbor......no, she isn't evil, just dangerous. I think you should hasten yourself over there and discuss the issue over a piece of pie. While discussing the situation, you might casually mention to her that she could possibly start baking some wonderful non-dairy, gluten free, concoction and that you've got at least one other excellent person that should try some......ME!

Have a grand day lovely lady,
Hugs,
Meri

Keetha Denise Broyles said...

You, my dear bloggy friend, are too goofy for words.

And about the tree question - - - I don't think it is philosophical at all, being a science teacher I KNOW the answer an it is ALL science. There would be no sound for sound is the RECEPTION of vibration, so with no ears to receive, there would be no sound. There WOULD still be plenty of vibration - - -

OK - - - I know that was TMI and way more I than you asked for.

Theresa said...

O cruel world indeed! I wonder how many of your followers are sitting on their behinds dreaming of cherry pie now?

Wombat Central said...

Um, show up with coffee one morning and make friends with her. You may soon be enjoying cherry pie together.

My name is PJ. said...

It all comes down to the doer's intention.....


Cherry pie.....the intention is always bliss......


WW can be a curse sometimes....

5thsister said...

Oh dear....serious purgatory time for sure!

Jocelyn said...

Oh she is so EVIL.....she must see you walk by and say.....hmmmm....how can I tempt this woman this morning!!!

How about picking up the pace and run like HELL past her house!!! :-)

Love ya girlie and you never cease to bring a big ole smile to my face!!!

Julienne said...

Obviously she is incredibly evil! Obviously she times that pie to smell at it's best just as you are walking past! Just be careful she has not cast you in the role of Gretel to her witch!
Now go and bake a pie for yourself while I go off and have a dry biscuit!

Cheryl said...

You have so many choices here Jenny. She doesn't. Since she's old and skinny and spry enough to bake at 6 am, it's unlikely she'll be moving anytime soon.

You could change your route. You could pretend it's a scented candle. You could change your route. You could kill her dead but then we'd be reading about life behind bars. You could change your route. You could wear a gas mask. You could change your route. You could suck it up. You could change your route. You could quite WW. You could change your route.

Vicki said...

Grab a fork, a half gallon of ice cream and knock on the door...
Sounds nice and evil to me :)

Susan said...

I agree...EAT PIE...
Enough said, knock on the door, say the smell is wonderful and ask for whatever the "dish of the day" is, make a new friend and enjoy.
Life is too short so I say...
"EAT PIE"
Susan {:op

Beedeebabee said...

Oh gosh...I got SUCH a kick out of this one, and the comments are one more clever than the next!!! Lets just say, I wish there was more of that type of evil going on around in my town! You are such a trip! xo Paulette ;)

Serline said...

Go up to the front door, ring the bell and get yourself invited in. Be a part of their morning ritual. Dazzle them with your wit in exchange of a scrumptious breakfast. I wouldn't have the courage to this in a million years, but my hubby certainly would. How about you?

♥ Calamity Anne ♥ said...

Evil is as evil does!!! What's truly evil...is how does Mr. and Mrs. Skinny eat all this stuff and stay skinny??? Now that's evil!

Bits-n-Pieces said...

oh my goodness!! she should be locked away!!
or....
you could....
maybe....
oh, I dunno....
take over a couple cups of coffee, and knock on the door...
and ask her what that wonderful smell is??? Then she'll invite you in for a piece, right??

What? it always works that way on tv shows!

Margaret (Peggy or Peg too) said...

well the nerve of that bitch!
:-)

criticalcrass said...

why the hell aren't both you and the evil bitch asleep at six a.m.?

Janet Johnson said...

Nope, definitely still evil. Totally with you!

Just like McD putting that smell into the air that pulls you in, but the food NEVER tastes as good as that smell. Okay, that is just evil, period. So maybe it's not the same.

But I'm with you. :)

Pondside said...

Let me briefly re-cap here:
1. You walk because, like most of us, you have added to your lovely self over the years (through no fault of your own) and you would like to slim down.
2. The elderly lady is very slender.
3. The elderly lady bakes.
4. This is an evil old lady because it is obvious from 2 & 3 that 1 never happened to her - she probably used to be one of those annoying people who could say 'I just eat whatever I want and never seem to gain a pound'.
Jenny, you're either going to have to find another walking route or introduce yourself and ask for a piece of whatever she's baking.
If you can't beat'em, join 'em.

Marlene said...

I'm roaring with laughter over the "tell yourself it's just a yankee candle" comment!!!!!!!

Julie Schuler said...

Pie is always right and can never be wrong. So you must be wrong. Put a clothespin on your nose.

Terri said...

I think it is evil that they are not sharing their goodies with you.

Sue said...

The surprising but admirable restraint shown in your criticism of these aging but not-yet-infirm troublemakers is remarkable, Jenny. Thoughtlessness is thoughtlessness, and growing older doesn't give anyone the "right" to tread on the rights of others. Once again, I am impressed by your magnanimity and, yes, sheer generosity of spirit.

Giving such people the benefit of the doubt is no small thing, and you have earned my respect.

Thank you for lifting me today. You make me a better person.

S.

Lucy said...

Meet me on the canal bank. Nobody bakes up there. And the answer is ... "Yes". :)

Country Dreaming said...

Jenny honey--
My question to you is:
WHAT IN THE HECK ARE YOU UP AT 3:15IN THE MORNING POSTING?--Is the pie keeping you up?

Melinda

Beverly said...

I hate naturally skinny people. Especially ones that bake fattening things. Like Cherry Pie. I hate them the most. My husband is a naturally skinny person. I used to love it. That was when I was a "I have to work my ass off" to be a skinny person. The ass won and I am no longer skinny. Luckily my hubs still loves me:) The answer is yes, she is evil. You may want to consider an exorcism. But take the Cherry Pie first. Exorcisms make you hungry.

Unprocessed1 said...

I'm thinking that maybe, the evil, skinny old lady does the old fashioned thing - leaving the pie on her window sill to cool. Although, in AZ, maybe she's baking it on her window sill.

So, I suggest, that tomorrow morning, you take a closer look. If the pie is there, grab it and run. Or, in my case, walk really fast home. She's old, she won't catch you.

That'll teach her!

Linda Robinson said...

I was smiling the whole time I was reading this post.. You are quite the story teller! I think I need to go back and read some of your older post!

Hugs, Linda

Carol said...

Remember when we were kids and you'd hold your breath around cemeteries? Walk fast and hold your breath! LOL

LuLu Kellogg said...

I agree with Paula, pretend it's a Yankee candle and keep on trotting!

Love,
LuLu♥

LuLu Kellogg said...

I agree with Paula, pretend it's a Yankee candle and keep on trotting!

Love,
LuLu♥

Jenni @ nest to keep said...

Hi Jenny~

I am cracking up at this post, partly because, well, if truth be told, I am the baker in our neighborhood...but to avoid being evil, I just decided to share with our neighbors! ;)

Now, as for a plan for you and this dilemma, I have an idea! :) You could offer to bring the coffee, and meet your baking neighbor! As a true baker, she will undoubtedly love that you appreciate her cooking AND the opportunity to redeem herself as a very non-evil person! :)

Thank you also for stopping by my blog and saying hello! I am loving your blog and am going to be your newest follower now!

Have a beautiful day! Hope you get some pie! :)

Busy Bee Suz said...

She is pure evil and should be reported to the authorities asap.

The Quintessential Magpie said...

Yep, evil for sure! I keep saying this to my friends who are food bloggers, too. They are temptresses. All of them!

XO,

Sheila :-)

Aging Mommy said...

I agree with some of the other commenters, go knocj on her door and ask what she is making. She might very well be getting up every morning knowing that her baking is sending delicious smells wafting into your path, just hoping you might be tempted to stop and knock at her door.

And who can resist home made cherry pie at any time of the day?!? It is fruit so must of course be very healthy :-)

Ms. Anthropy said...

She's skinny, she bakes AND she permeates the air with sinful aromas! I say... shoot her!

Cheryl D. said...

And if that weren't evil enough, she has to be naturally thin to boot! That's like the icing on the evil devil's food cake. Oops, I hope you don't think my analogy is evil.

Beth Zimmerman said...

Whether or not she is evil ... avoid hitting her with your walking sticks! I don't think blindness, or being off on tangents, holds up in court as an acceptable defense!

LemonyRenee' said...

A gastronomic terrorist, she is! Report her to the health police and they'll probably nuke her right off your planet. Look what they did to movie popcorn!

Diana said...

I think that you should invite yourself every morning to indulge in whatever sweet treat she is baking. Perhaps she will tire of you and stop baking!!
Then again she may enjoy the company so much that you would be defeating the whole walking routine!
Love Di ♥

Tina said...

LOL. I feel your pain, sister. I like the suggestion of inviting yourself in. Or just steal the pie...perhaps to hit her skinny little self with. On accident of course...

laterg8r said...

i'd sneak close to see if her pie was cooling in the window and steal it - it wouldn't be evil, it would be keeping her skinny LOL :D

K9friend said...

That's pure torture and totally unfair.

Pat
www.critteralley.blogspot.com

Amanda said...

Evil. Definitely evil.

Sharon said...

Hi Jenny thank you for stopping by my blog and thank you for your sweet comment. I am more of an artist and I am not a writer at all so I guess I compensate with Artsy things. Fluff as most would say.
Have a great day! Sharon

Aunt Amelia's Attic said...

Oh-you-are-so-great-at-this-here-writing-thing!!!

The Words Crafter said...

I don't have an answer...just-I would probably have to get some pie, exercise more, maybe cry and rant a bit...eat another slice...think unkind thoughts, ask for forgiveness...and just get stuck in a circle. Do they make nose plugs?

Lourie said...

Oh yes, indeed. It is evil! Evil I tell you! Who bakes PIE at that hour anyway? Do it at night like a normal person would ya. *ahem* sorry. I am hungry and 1.6 away from my 20! Yeah, it's evil. Especially since she is skinny. No fair.

JDaniel4's Mom said...

I think you should stop by and ask if she could give you a glass of water and maybe a baked good.

A 2 Z said...

Hi Jenny,

I know that couple. She bakes all these goodies and donates it to the old folds home. You should see their faces Jenny when she brings in her daily baked goodies. Bless her soul! LOL I feel I'm the evil one teasing you this way! On a different topic would it be possbile to post your alphabe-Thursday blog hop earlier! Its almost 9:00pm Jenny and my brain is tired this late at night and of course us old folks have to get up early to bake you know!

Chocolate Covered Daydreams said...

One, you should knock on her door and let her know that she is assaulting your senses. (How much you want to bet she offers you some?)

Two, she may not be the one that's doing the baking...maybe HE is.

Three, bring the coffee and knock on the door. They may be glad you did.

Sares said...

Maybe you should move your house "upwind"!!! Poor Jenny. I have to say I started off skinny, but am guessing by previous generations I can count on being rather plump in the middle.
Unless I exercise a lot. And I'm lazy. Or I watch what I eat. And I'm lazy.

aimee said...

this is such a funny post! i love it :)
blessings,
aimee