Friday, June 18, 2010

When I was in fourth grade...

I went to a sleep-over at a friends. She was a sophisticated friend. She knew swear words, her Mom let her shave her armpits AND she had a Ouija Board. We stayed up most of the night in her dark room and in the flickering light of two black votive candles (I told you she was sophisticated) we predicted our futures.

There was a lot of giggling involved when the magic pointer thing-y pointed to "YES" when I asked if John Blair would love me.

It lied. He never did.

When I was in sixth grade I went to a sleep-over at friends. It was another friend but she was still way more sophisticated than me. Not only did she know swear words, her Dad had Playboy magazines (which pretty much scarred my body image perceptions for life-and yes, straight girls are curious, too!), she shaved her legs AND she had a Magic 8 Ball. We stayed up most of the light grooving with her lava lamp, listening to Herman's Hermits and asking all kinds of profound questions.

There was a lot of giggling involved when the magic window told me "It is certain" when I asked if Keith Farris would love me.

It lied. He never did.

Now that I'm older, I'm done with all that silliness.

And since I'm pretty sophisticated now knowing my own swear words and shaving my armpits AND legs without my Mom's permission, I decided to go high tech with the future prediction thing.

This past week which was almost verging on a terrible, horrible, very bad, no good week I asked word verification if things were going to get better soon.

Word verification told me: WHINR

The next day I asked if babysitting would be too much for me this summer.

My word verification was: IDEEOT

And finally today I asked if I would loose five pounds this week at Weight Watchers.

My word verification told me: FATCHANSS

So I give up.

Somehow I don't think it was the missing pilfered Playboys and black votive candles.

Which kind of stinks because I was hoping this would work so I could move onto lottery number predictions.

But since retro is supposed to be a good thing, maybe I should give that Ouija board one last chance!

Can I borrow yours? You can come over and we'll do it together! I'll get the candles...you bring all your swear words and the shaving cream!

Sigh...

post signature

51 comments:

Diana said...

Word verification can be a bit, creepy at times to say the least. I have often times wondered if it knew my thoughts!
But Jenny consider the source, blogger, and you just never know!!!
Love Di ♥

Terra said...

Too funny. Those words WV comes up with can be as funny as they are annoying! I am so glad they are helping you see more clearly! ha ha - as long as you don't turn to 1-800 numbers I won't worry too much about you!

My name is PJ. said...

I had a sophisticated friend back then too...only it was the same girl in both instances. She wore a bra in 5th grade, shaved her legs, wore fishnet stockings and Beatle boots.


And, in addition to Ouija and magic 8 ball, we cast spells on our class mates and levitated our friends.


Told you she was sophicated.

Cheryl said...

If I got started on word veri, the rant would never end. Oh, I already did a post on them. D'OH!

All of my friends were and still are far more sophisticated than I am. I used to care. Now I blog.

Wombat Central said...

I asked word verification about this post and it said: verifunee!

Jennifer said...

hahaha the word verifications were too funny. ;)

Sherri said...

that's too funny...my older sister is still like that...she sees things all the time, plays with boards and reads cards, but can't tell me anything about our adoption and how much longer our wait is.

Julie Schuler said...

My oldest just got a magic 8 ball this year! I thought it would encourage his reading. He figured out in pretty short order it was full of sh*t, and he hasn't played with it in weeks. I wonder what he asked it?

Lucy said...

HA! Herman's Hermits. Those two words together take me back to Cheyenne, Wyoming.

Jocelyn said...

Oh how funny....do I ever remember the sleepovers with the Ouija Board and you know whenever I see that silly 8 ball...I still ask it questions... AHHHH...the days of innocence!!!

Now the lottery thing......when you get a take on that.....let me know!!!

Have a great weekend!!!

Terry said...

I have swear words! Lots of them! I've been saving up for a special occasion! LOL

Margaret (Peggy or Peg too) said...

Thanks for the great morning giggles. Herman Hermits! Henry the 8th I am I am!....tee hee

Meri Wiley said...

Well miss Jenny, since even the word verification misspells, your chances get better than 50/50. I'm so sorry you had a bad week, I hope it wasn't started by my visit? By the way, I've really got to get my husband over to your house, he would just die when looking at your garden. Maybe we can pick up a Ouija board on our way over, have a little whine and plan our futures. I promise to shave, too.

Hugs,
Meri

Betty (picture circa 1951) said...

No problem...you can borrow mine. I still have my Ouji board from when I was a kid. I found it when I cleaned our my parents' home a few years back. It was still in my old closet. I don't know why I kept it, but it now sits on a chair in my dining room and I consider it a sentimental thing never to be donated or thrown out.

By the way, after a certain age hair won't grow on your legs anymore. One of the best benefits of growing old...IMHO.

summersundays-jw said...

I carry around the name of a lady who reads cards & sometimes have such an urge to visit her and I still think there's magic in a Ouija board. Have a great weekend & go buy a lottery ticket. Jan

Theresa said...

Ahhh sweet childhood memories... before we knew better:) Enjoyed the look into your inquisitive years! Have a blessed day! HUGS!

Bits-n-Pieces said...

ooh girl...that Ouija board is a scary thing! We were using one once, at one of my sleepovers, (my BFF brought it) and we saw the devil's face in the livingroom drapes!! That right there was some scary stuff!
But that Magic 8 Ball...that right there is a proven science. I have one right here in the game room with me (a perk of being married..getting to now claim his stuff as mine!). That thing just KNOWS!!
Not always in my favor, but hey, life isn't always gonna go my way now is it? LOL

Busy Bee Suz said...

The ouija boards scared the pooh out of me.
Word verification scares the pooh out of me.
Good luck Jenny.

Brittany said...

I use the magic 8 ball on line! ha as a joke..

When I didn't know if I was pregnant, I used it, and it said I was..

it was right :)

8 months later, Aidyn!

Maybe I already-kinda knew I was pregnant.. but still...

Mumsy said...

My friend and I used to do the Ouija board too..It just scares the heck out of me because it always had to be dark!

Linda @ A La Carte said...

Talk about bringing back memories! Oh my I remember the nights and Ouija board thing...I just could not believe in it but went along as some of my friends were sooooo into it! Love the WV, they are more scary then the Ouija board!

Tina said...

Were you and I at the same sleep-overs??? Sure sounds like it. Well, maybe not, because we levitated our friends and had "real" seances. Scared the willies out of me and I stopped going. And stopped being invited because of being such a chicken. Don't get me started on the word verification...that's even creepier.

Cheryl D. said...

LOL! That is too funny. Sometimes when I post a comment, I'm tempted to go back in an write out what the word verification is, they're so funny! Thanks for the laugh.

Sue said...

You never fail to amuse me!

Thanks.

=)

PS. What you really need is the talking Yoda. All paths will become clear to you...

ain't for city gals said...

I would say have a little cheese with that whine but...too many points. Thank goodness the crystal ball was not right...you would miss Mr. Jenny...

Short and Sweet said...

I don't even know what word verification is! Your post was a riot and brought back memories of many sleepless sleep-overs!

Holly said...

OK, I am getting in the car I have a oiuja board...I thought my son would like it and I freaked him out!...just the box. I have never done one either. I think word verification might be one to something...but not something good! I need some help with lottery numbers too...my friend won the $266 million...can you believe it!?

Aunt Amelia's Attic said...

"This past week which was almost verging on a terrible, horrible, very bad, no good week..."

-snip-

"The next day I asked if babysitting would be too much for me this summer."

I know this is humor. I know we are supposed to laugh. But... That issue of babysitting maybe being too much for you. Mmmmmm, I feel the humor masks some real concern.

Please Dear, our own health comes first. Please. In other works, listen to your gut feeling. If it's telling you that this babysitting you took on, is too much.... Well then, please tell them to find alternatives.

Yes, even when the "them" who has to be told, is family.

Maybe especially when the "them" who has to be told, is family.

Nuffffff' said...

Gentle hugs...

Ms. Anthropy said...

I've pretty much always had one, but... Ouija boards scare the crap out of me! I refuse to risk opening a portal to anymore potential darkness. The way my luck is, it would be the uninvited, that would show up. I'm getting goosebumps just thinking about it!

Aunt Amelia's Attic said...

Interesting.

I'm the only one who picked up on the possibility of you having "a wee bit of concern"... Behind all the humor.

Interesting...

I've been known to.......... Pick up on things. But not always of course.

Sandy said...

Jenny,
Remember our conversation out in your back yard?? We need to take care of ourselves....are you doing that?????
I think you have over extended yourself.....and yes, it can be fun....but when it isn't fun but hard then the joy is gone.....PLEASE listen to your spirit, I cherish the time I get to have with you reading your posts! :):)

Marlene said...

You are seriously the most creative writer blogger I know!!!! This post was a hoot!!!

Oh - and my favorite word verification thingy word? REEKYJIZZ.

I am not even kidding.

Aging Mommy said...

Brilliantly funny post! I keep wondering if they will find a cure for the aging process and wrinkles before I get too many more but just know the answer will be NTONYRLYF....

Unprocessed1 said...

Let's forget the shaving cream, I'll just bring a bottle of wine and we can whine together!

At this age, I'm afraid of what the future holds!

Laura~DancesWithTeddyBears said...

Wonderful post, Jenny, even if the fates seem to be conspiring against you :o)
A few days ago, while tidying up my studio (insert laugh here) I found my old Ouija board, complete with pointer thingy. It's now sitting out, staring at me. Not sure if I should venture there..
Have a wonderful weekend! Hugs, Laura

Kristi Faith said...

Such a great reminder of those days. LOL My mother would always warn me of the evils and it would always make me want to play with one more. LOL

The Words Crafter said...

Oh, you brought back memories! I was terrified of a Ouija board but we had 8 Balls...you can't listen to them, their brains are tiny and all shaken up! We used to listen to Hanky Panky and dance on the coffee table! Not related, I know, but you started it with the music reference...I think you need to scrounge up Harvey-he's more fun than 8 balls and Ouija boards, don't you think?

Lourie said...

I am in!! I will bring some goodies too...they are calorie free at sleep overs!

Country Dreaming said...

Jenny, Jenny--
Too funny. I'm not sure what else to say. :)

Have a wonderful weekend.

Melinda

Correen said...

You have officially cracked me up AND flooded the memories into my brain! Although one of those is of a friend that did not shave her armpits or legs...eewy! Thanks for paying a visit to my Grandma Recipes blog for SITS Friday Potluck...I'm one happy mama!

Amy said...

I nearly fell out of my chair laughing at this! So funny! I am going to have to try sometime, though I am not sure I want the answers. Word verification is pretty darn sophisticated. And I don't know any swear words, so maybe I am just too young? I don't know.

And I love Herman's Hermits! They always make me smile.

Linda said...

Nothing ever came true when I used a Ouija board or the 8 ball, but I kept playing anyway...we also levitated our friends and did some Mary Jane thing in the mirror in the dark. Everybody was freaked out! We played a lot of Kreskin's ESP game, too...

Debbi said...

You crazy using a ouiji board. Those things scare the crap out of me. The word verification cracked me up! Thank you so much for stopping by my blog for SITS potluck and the nice compliment! I hope you have a great weekend!

Quilting in My Pyjamas said...

Sometimes word verification is just downright spooky....

Vivianne's Vista said...

I try to stay away from such things. People from my country firmly believe in Voodoo... maybe you should stop talking to your computer Jenny... just a thought! ;-)

Vicki said...

Have the wine chilled, I'll bring the board, the ball, the razor... and the lotto tickets...

moabhw said...

I really enjoyed your blog. Well written and extremely funny. Thank you for the chuckle this Saturday morning. Had to add you to my blogroll.

laterg8r said...

v funny, i never try to predict the future but i like the idea of using word verification to do so LOL :D

Jingle said...

i enjoy your creativity..

Jingle said...

http://itistimetothinkformyself.blogspot.com/2010/06/summer-tips-4-families-plus-fathers-day.html

Happy Fathers Day to Fathers in your family.

BECKY said...

Hilarious!