Friday, June 25, 2010

I was in an accident yesterday...

To be honest, it was pretty frightening. But because we are all friends here I am willing to relive my suffering so that you can benefit from the tragic tale.

Let me just preface the story by telling you it was 113 degrees here yesterday. And, yea, that is fahrenhot! We always kid that if you stand still on an asphalt parking lot your shoes will melt.

But after surviving what happened to me yesterday, I will no longer kid about such a horrific subject.

There I was, getting a nice girl-y pedicure, when I realized I had worn the wrong shoes. I wore my closed-toe Keens and everyone knows that you can't put newly pedi'd toes into closed-toe shoes.

So the pedicure guy (after clucking away at me in Vietnamese for several minutes obviously chastising me for my stupid shoe choice) gave me some of those little disposable sandals.
The thin ones.

And then he said to me "Jayn-nee, you will burn yur feet, you wait for dry."

And I said, "I can't. I will just wear the sandals to my car."

And then he said "kwa wa chee ha lee cha mee kwa," or something like that to the other girl there. And she shrugged her shoulders and made a face.

I think he probably said something like "this moronic woman with the wrong shoes is always in a hurry so she deserves what she gets."

I paid and shuffled outside.

As I stepped onto the asphalt it felt like I had nothing on my feet. I mean, seriously, the heat was radiating through the soles of these sandals. It was 4:30 in the afternoon in a full sun parking lot and I had parked wayyyyy out there.

I shuffled a bit further, cursing myself (kwa wa chee ha lee!) for wearing the wrong shoes to begin with.

I shuffled a little bit further and then I think the side of the sandal dissolved on the scorching asphalt. One of the straps pulled completely off, but I proceeded to try to get to my car and in the process totally messed up the polish on my big toe.

I got in the car and burned my... ummm.... hiney.... on the leather on the front seat, burned my hands on the steering wheel and then drove my car back to the side of the building where there was a parking spot in the shade.

And then, humiliated, I shuffled back in.

"Ummm.... I messed up my big toe," I told him while hiding the thin, broken sandal behind my back.

He immediately started a litany of something that sounded suspiciously like "Hwan can lee chu ma hwong" which I suspect meant "I told you so you moron."

...and then proceeded to fix my toenail polish.

Then he put another little disposable sandal on my foot. And raised his eyebrows at me and said "Jayn-nee?"

And I said "thank you, I parked closer so I'm not going to wait for it to dry" and then I shuffled as quickly as you can in those little disposable sandals and got out of there.

This time, however, I made it to my car safely.

And my toenail was perfectly fine.

Really.

Don't worry.

See?
The whole accident ended well after all!

But I felt it was only fair to share this message of tragedy, despair, hope and triumph with you.

In a world where so many things end badly, isn't it nice to feel uplifted like this?

And to know that sometimes you can just shuffle through the accident to find a happy ending

Oh.

And...

You're welcome.

Sigh...

post signature

74 comments:

Terry said...

OMG...I can so see you doing that!! ROFL

JDaniel4's Mom said...

What a toe curling story!

ain't for city gals said...

Hottest day of the year!! You go girl! Who said you are not tough!

The Quintessential Magpie said...

That's a toe-riffic tale, girl!

The best part...

"I paid and shuffled outside."

I got a visual on this that made me howl.

Loved this. Of course, I'm sleep deprived, but I do.

XO,

Sheila :-)

Debbie said...

So funny Jenny!!~ Not sure if the toe part is funnier or the Vietnamese impression...no offense but they so much in one sentence that in translation is only one line in English. I have a vietnamese friend and I told her the next time I go I am wearing an ear piece so she can talk in my ear and I can talk with them lol!!~ She laughed so hard!!~ Yes he was calling you A MOron I am sure of it!!~ I have done the same thing, so don't feel bad. Pretty color!

Deb said...

I felt like I was right there with you....your details are great...

Lindsay said...

I have really sensitive feet.. this made them hurt just reading it!!

Wombat Central said...

Trying to remember which Looney Toons character runs through a desert of hot sand "Eeech Oooch! Ow! Oooh!" That's what I'm picturing. Then when you get into that hot car it feels like the first inhalation of that searing air burns your nose hairs off.

Cheryl said...

The tension mounted to the point that I could barely breathe while I read this. I'm so glad no one was too badly hurt. This is one of those times I wish I still drank. My nerves are shattered.

Be careful out there today, m'kay?

Still giggling.

Paula said...

ouch! I think "Hwan can lee chu ma hwong" translates to.. 'only Jenny'
lol!:) glad your toesies are ok!

Kim @ Savvy Southern Style said...

Jenny, that was hilarious. Sorry you burned your feet, you moron!

Mid-Atlantic Martha said...

I was a moron too the last time I got a pedicure! But at least it was before this last heatwave. I'll be more careful today when I go -- your warning came just in time for me. Ouch!

5thsister said...

Oh dear, the tragedy and woe of it all! :o)

PeggyR said...

I have to say I laughed at what happened! Sorry with what I'm going through it did me good to laugh at this point!

Vicki said...

Moral to this story....
kwa wa chee ha lee cha mee kwa hwan can lee chu ma hwong. Which of course means...Keep extra sandals in car bone head :)

Personalized Sketches and Sentiments said...

haha!!! (Sorry for laughing...mind you I NEVER laugh AT you!)

Glad to hear all was repaired...um...hope your soles are now cooled down and soothed and no longer burning!

Blessings & Aloha!
Love your interpretation/translation, & attempt at Vietnamese :o)

Terri said...

Ok, since you said it first, I did the exact same thing on my pedi... that is wear the completely wrong shoe to get the pedi. My excuse was that I did it on a whim.

Love your post!

Busy Bee Suz said...

Jay-nee, you crack me up!!!!
I love a non-tragic ending.

ourlifeinaclick.blogspot.com said...

This is so funny!! I can totally relate. I try not to wear the wrong shoes and get chastised by the nail techs (or talked about).

I'm glad it wasn't a serious accident! And glad your toe is fine.

Molly said...

As usual you made me laugh outloud!!!! Now, let me say I was not laughing at your predicament...really I wasn't. You totally have to Vietnamese language down..you must go there alot!! (In the correct shoes)

Jeanie said...

Ouch! But, the visual you gave us was, I hate to say it, worth your pain. The public service compononent is very generous. I bet you left out the best part...
what Mr. Jenny had to say about your accident, or at least how hard he laughed.

Bits-n-Pieces said...

oh your poor feetsies!! I know how hot that can be!! And that poor little melted sandal. Now your grandgirls can't play with them. What?..my daughter LOVES to keep those little disposable flipflops to play with. Don't your girls?

Pondside said...

Almost been there - had almost the same thing happen except it was winter and the shoes weren't Keens but big furry boots!

Parsley said...

HOT CHIHUAHUAS! Ouchie!

Even those 'Old Navy' flipflops can get really melty on the asphalt here in OK during the summer.

Patti said...

you silly girl...glad you're okay!

Linda @ A La Carte said...

Poor toes but so happy it ended well. What really cracked me up is the way you describe the 'conversations' between the pedicure guy and you! So funny! Glad all is well.

Pixie said...

OMG I thought you were really hurt you silly thing! Just your pride LOL you're too cute though!

Sami said...

MEGA-OUCH!!! Those Vietnamese toe painters could have given you something a little more substantial than a paper bag creatively shaped into a sandal, but you made it against all adversity!!

Mumsy said...

Oh Jenny, I thought you were in a car accident. You, teaser you, but what a fun post it was to read. The conversation between you and that Vietnamese guy made me laugh..

LemonyRenee' said...

You had me ROLLING with this one. I can just see you hobbling and hopping to your car on the hot blacktop. LOL!

Nice color, btw.

Kari said...

You don't happen to live in Phoenix do you? I actually saw it once, a girl brought in a bag of clothes with a couple pair of black mules in the bag. I opened the bag and pulled out the first article of clothing. Black goo all over it. The SHOE'S had melted in the bag!! Moral of that story, don't buy really cheap shoe's. The moral of your story, buy open toed shoe's.:)

Aunt Amelia's Attic said...

"Jayn-nee"!!!!!! I am gonna' come down there and spank you, if you don't learn to SLOW DOWN! And yes, I mean the caps. I am yelling at you.

Sure it sounds funny when you write about it. Yes, it's a funny entry. But..................

I'm an old stick-in-the-mud and I see the lesson you must learn.. Learn to slowwwwwwwwwwww dowwwwwwwwwwwwwn. Very few things in life, truly can't wait a few minutes.

Guess what?!? If you had not been rushing to GET there, you'd have remembered to wear your own right shoes.

Tsk, Tsk, Tsk. Are you handing your head now, like a naughty little girl? You should be. 'Cause Auntie is realllllly upset with you!

So there. -picture mean scowl-

^_^

Jocelyn said...

Oh I am LMAO.....you are soooooo my TWIN!!!!! I have to admit...I did the very same thing the last pedicure and I would love to know what they were saying about me....Probable dumb BLONDE!!!!

YAY...you saved the toe.......

Have a great one and we are in that kind of heat....yesterday...I felt so sick from it....today I am staying in the darn house!!!

Little Messy Missy said...

Too funny....

Tracey said...

I'm so glad you survived your accident!

Somebody needs to write a book "Vietnamese for Dummies" so when they start talking we can surprise the *&^% out of them and answer back!

Cheryl D. said...

Wow, you had me going there! I'm glad everything is okay!

It can get pretty hot in the summer time where I live--we get those insane temps, just not everyday--I have seat covers on my black leather seats and a steering wheel cover. Otherwise, I'd be burned every summer day! Ouch!

Tina said...

Thanks for the laugh. I needed that! I especially like "fahrenhot" and your Vietnamese. As to 113 degrees, I'm sweating just thinking about it. And it's just another reason why I live in CO.

Margaret (Peggy or Peg too) said...

I've done the same thing.
I hate hate hate that they speak their language while working on me. I find it so damn rude.
I figure they are saying s-t about me. I know, I know, it's not always about me but it just feels that way. :-)

Sue said...

Reading this was nothing short of a spiritual experience.

Namaste.

Sherri said...

Oh my goodness I thought and reading on...I had to ROTFLMAO..and a 113 degrees? WOW!! now that's hot! Thanks for the laugh.
Sherri

{ L } said...

Wow, when shoes are melting...that's just TOO hot! lol Ouch! :( Your writing style is so captivating by the way. <3

laterg8r said...

love that he cursed you out in another language LOL :D

Janiece said...

thanks for a great laugh...and advise!

w said...

bring a recorder next time. put it on your blog. i'll translate for you.

all my friends want me to go with them so i can translate for them. but i'm afraid to go. mainly because i'm afraid the nail shop will recruit me.

Terra said...

Omg. I told Lauren you needed potholders to touch your car but I never thought about cheap melty shoes! Love to visit, so couldn't live there

Ms. Anthropy said...

I can't imagine if I was heading out to spend money on a pedi, I would be wearing a shoe that would cover up the investment. Then again, I've never spent money on one, I'm too tight. (yadingdongnumchuck) Glad you survived!

Becky said...

JEN-NY.

Don't DO that to me!!!

I thought...I haven't been on the Patch today...I hope she's OK!!!

GLAD TO HEAR YOUR TOE IS FINE.

The Words Crafter said...

I'm glad you're okay....and since you are, I have to tell you, I kept seeing Vicki Lawrence as Thelma, shuffling out to the car, muttering under her breath the whole way...I think you might be her match in stubbornness! Love the color!

maggie said...

OK what are you doing going out in115F weather to get your toes done?? I guess that's what we love about you and it makes for a great story.

Tgoette said...

Wonderful story, Jenny! Reading this I couldn't help but think about that tagline from the Wild World of sports:

"The thrill of victory, and the agony of da' feet."

Thank you. I'll be here all week.

Jojo said...

You must go to the nail shop often. What an amazing translation of Vietnamese!

Love your polish color!

Viki said...

Oh your poor tootsie's. I can just imagine the pain Ouchie!!

BECKY said...

Jenny, I was so afraid when I read your title of being in an accident. As I read, I kept waiting for the "and then I fell onto the hot asphalt and broke my ankle".....or the "and then I through the gear into Drive and crashed into the..."
I'm very happy to know you weren't REALLY in an ACCIDENT!! Geeez, woman!! You are a silly, funny gal!

Theresa said...

Oh Jay-nee! You are one funny lady! WHO but YOU would show their big toenail on their blog:) Have a great evening my friend!

HUGS!

Diana said...

Te Chee la me sa lee. That means I feel your pain! So sorry for the melty feet Jenny. But your color is very nice!! Love Di ♥

Jo said...

Jenny ... meet Arizona in the summer ... Arizona ... meet Jenny !

funny story Jenny, the pedi looks lovely!

Nancy C said...

I remember running across the street barefoot in Phoenix summers when I was a kid.

Which is why my feet now look like horse hoofs.

This is so funny! You crack me up.

Beth said...

Girl, you had me laughing out loud! The price we pay to look cute :)

mrs. c said...

It was 93 here today and we went junking and stopped at the store and I thought I was going to melt in the parking lot! All I wear is Keen's!!!! I have everyone at my school wearing them! I have the little red sandals, the green and tan mary janes, and my newest pair the little green sandals. I get them on line at Sierra Trading and I also used an on-line coupon and paid 46.00 for almost 80 dollar shoes. I sure like to get a bargain, I would have paid the 80 cause I love the green color...but I didn't have to!

Lourie said...

Holy cow, Jenny! I was envisioning you totally burning up the soles of your poor feet! I am glad it all turned out good.

GardenofDaisies said...

Jenny, LOL!!!!!!!!! But sorry you hurt your hand, your tushie, your pride, and had to have your toenail redone. We keep big towels in the car during the summer, and cover our seats and the steering wheel when we get out.

My name is PJ. said...

You goofball!

I laughed. I cried. It was better than "Cats"!

K9friend said...

Tee-hee! Great story. I've often wondered what the pedicurists/manicurists are chattering away and laughing about...now I know!

Pat
www.critteralley.blogspot.com

Linda Robinson said...

That is too funny...

Hugs, Linda

Lady Banana said...

Reminds me of walking barefoot on a beach in Africa! Big mistake!

Never ever seen disposable sandals before - how funny!

mbkatc230 said...

OUCH! This made me laugh hysterically, but I do feel your pain. Most days I'm channeling Ellie Mae and am barefoot. And occasionally forget that I live in a flippin' oven from May-Oct and run out to get the mail. Without shoes. Hippity hoppity all the way down the driveway and back. I'm sure my neighbors think I'm totally nuts.... Kat

Aging Mommy said...

I went for a pedicure, finally, today and was given a pair of those things to wear in 101F temperatures but thankfully they did not melt. Oh my, what an adventure, anyway I am glad you are OK and as you say, that that little tragedy was easily remedied and your toe nail looks just wonderful :-)

Chatty Crone said...

Oh Jenny, you had me going. I'm glad it turned out well. It doesn't get that hot here, but whew boy! Pretty toe by the way. sandie

Mimi said...

HI!!!
So glad it was just a shoe accident!!!!I thought it was a CAR ACCIDENT!!!!In this heat!!!!
You got me!!!!!
glad they fixed it for you and glad I am not the only one who gets frustrated at their rude talking behind our backs!!!!
hugs,
jamie

Holly said...

I swear we are related! See here you would have to worry about frost bite...it is 56 degrees in June...and I am sick of it...send us a few degrees please.

Glad to see the toes is doing well.

jfb57 said...

You naughty girl! You had me really worried with that title! :) I love that colour!

Bonnie said...

I am so glad this story had a happy ending! You had me worried. Those thin little flip flops are dangerous! I've worn them out to the car before too.

Bonnie said...

I really wanted to use the word "treacherous" instead of dangerous but couldn't spell it correctly. So I had to look it up. Who knew there was a letter "a" in there?? haha

The Farmer's Daughter said...

Oh! I can sooo relate to this story! I got a pedicure just before we went to Branson last week and I forgot and wore the wrong shoes. They gave me these really slick plastic paper like "shoes" to wear, and I slipped and slid all across the shop to the door and realized I couldn't possibly get to my car w/o breaking my silly neck. So, I slip-slided my way back to the counter and asked (begged) for some flip flops. The only color they had left was hot pink. It really went well with my red shirt. I did manage to get to the car, finally, and went straight to Old Navy to purchase yet another pair of flipflops I didn't need. You know, I just couldn't go shopping in HOT PINK flip flops with a RED shirt!!! Most expensive pedicure I've ever had!! LOL

Thanks for stopping by my blog! Hope to see you again. I'll be back, you have a very interesting blog here!

Take care,
Cheryl