Let me just preface the story by telling you it was 113 degrees here yesterday. And, yea, that is fahrenhot! We always kid that if you stand still on an asphalt parking lot your shoes will melt.
But after surviving what happened to me yesterday, I will no longer kid about such a horrific subject.
There I was, getting a nice girl-y pedicure, when I realized I had worn the wrong shoes. I wore my closed-toe Keens and everyone knows that you can't put newly pedi'd toes into closed-toe shoes.
So the pedicure guy (after clucking away at me in Vietnamese for several minutes obviously chastising me for my stupid shoe choice) gave me some of those little disposable sandals.
The thin ones.
And then he said to me "Jayn-nee, you will burn yur feet, you wait for dry."
And I said, "I can't. I will just wear the sandals to my car."
And then he said "kwa wa chee ha lee cha mee kwa," or something like that to the other girl there. And she shrugged her shoulders and made a face.
I think he probably said something like "this moronic woman with the wrong shoes is always in a hurry so she deserves what she gets."
I paid and shuffled outside.
As I stepped onto the asphalt it felt like I had nothing on my feet. I mean, seriously, the heat was radiating through the soles of these sandals. It was 4:30 in the afternoon in a full sun parking lot and I had parked wayyyyy out there.
I shuffled a bit further, cursing myself (kwa wa chee ha lee!) for wearing the wrong shoes to begin with.
I shuffled a little bit further and then I think the side of the sandal dissolved on the scorching asphalt. One of the straps pulled completely off, but I proceeded to try to get to my car and in the process totally messed up the polish on my big toe.
I got in the car and burned my... ummm.... hiney.... on the leather on the front seat, burned my hands on the steering wheel and then drove my car back to the side of the building where there was a parking spot in the shade.
And then, humiliated, I shuffled back in.
"Ummm.... I messed up my big toe," I told him while hiding the thin, broken sandal behind my back.
He immediately started a litany of something that sounded suspiciously like "Hwan can lee chu ma hwong" which I suspect meant "I told you so you moron."
...and then proceeded to fix my toenail polish.
Then he put another little disposable sandal on my foot. And raised his eyebrows at me and said "Jayn-nee?"
And I said "thank you, I parked closer so I'm not going to wait for it to dry" and then I shuffled as quickly as you can in those little disposable sandals and got out of there.
This time, however, I made it to my car safely.
And my toenail was perfectly fine.
The whole accident ended well after all!
But I felt it was only fair to share this message of tragedy, despair, hope and triumph with you.
In a world where so many things end badly, isn't it nice to feel uplifted like this?
And to know that sometimes you can just shuffle through the accident to find a happy ending