Flu and colds are dumb and...
the other night I was desperate...
So I dug through the medicine cabinet to see if there were any magic products in there that would make me feel better. I was quite excited to find a bottle of Children's NyQuil. Cherry flavored. Mild.
Now in the past NyQuil and I have not been very good friends.
In fact, there's an ingredient in NyQuil that I'm really, really sensitive to...
Did I mention this was CHILDREN'S NyQuil?
And cherry flavored?
So I took a half-dose. After I did that violent little head shake people do when they ingest nasty NyQuil products, I went to bed.
I didn't bother telling Mr. Jenny I had done this...what's a half dose of children's NyQuil to a fluffy woman like me, anyway? A half dose is technically what you give a child weighing 47 pounds or so. A quick calculation that the dosage would be for one of my thighs and a butt cheek, I figured I was safe.
After about 40 minutes I realized I had made a big mistake.
I realized this because my heart started racing and I started having panic and anxiety attacks and hallucinations.
I used the house phone to call Mr. Jenny on his cell phone. After all, he was in the living room, I was in the bedroom and there were scary, scary things in the hallway between us. I couldn't possibly walk down the hall to get him so he could rescue me, could I?
I did mention hallucinations, didn't I?
Apparently I might have looked slightly demented when he came into the room because his eyes got big and round and he said, "Are you sick? Holy cow! What's wrong with you?"
And I told him in a moderately crazed voice, "Yeah, I took a half dose of Children's Nyquil and ..."
"WHAT!?! Are you crazy? You can't take that stuff?"
"Calm down," I said as calmly as I could. It was difficult not to panic because I could see scary and disturbing things on the wall behind Mr. Jenny's head.
"It was children's NyQuil and I only took a half dose!"
"Are you crazy?" he inquired again.
"No, I'm not crazy. I really just wanted something to help my sniffling, sneezing, coughing, aching, stuffy head, fever and ability to sleep problems go away."
I sniffled pathetically, sneezed and coughed dramatically, painfully sat up wide awake in bed and in a stuffy, feverish voice screamed and warned him of a Ninja sneaking up on him. A scary Ninja...with super freaky eyes.
NyQuil. Not always the best thing.
I wonder why they don't add scary hallucinations to their jingly little slogan?
Or any of the other interesting little side effects that I found listed on their website like: anxiety, restless feelings, nervousness; confusion, unusual thoughts and/or behavior ...
Granted...I can usually have unusual thoughts and/or behaviours all on my very own even without cherry flavored children's NyQuil.
And technically I did know in advance that NyQuil has never been my friend in the past...
Did I mention it was cherry flavored? And that I was really, really tired of sniffling, sneezing, coughing, aching, stuffy head, fever and my inability to rest?
NyQuil does weird stuff to you, too, right?
I'm sure it does.
I can't possibly be that strange.
And I bet you do that violent little head shake whenever you take it, just like I do.
I just hope you don't see Ninja's with scary eyeballs.
Cuz that is definitely not cool.