Tuesday, September 1, 2009

Prepare to be grossed out

Do you see this disgusting, disgusting, nasty, horrible, disgusting, gross and dare-I-say disgusting roach?

A relative of his was in my bathtub! Actually three relaties were in my bathtub - three different times over the past week!

I have been hysterical and grossed out and screaming like a crazy woman. Shudder.

Last night after I found the third gross bug I made my husband stay in the bathroom and watch for bugs while I took my bath. Trust me. It wasn't one of those erotic moments you see on TV where the woman reclines in the bubble bath with her shapely leg pointing gracefully toward the ceiling. It was more me throwing water violently around all the while shrieking "watch for bugs, watch for bugs!" I'm pretty sure my husband was not turned on! In fact, I'm certain of it.

We actually have an exterminator. AND our house is actually clean.

Hey, don't roll your eyes at me. It's true. OK, yes it's a little cluttery and sure there is some dust and the linen cabinet looks like a Bed, Bath and Beyond sale threw up in there.

But it's basically clean.

We haven't had roaches in our house since right after we bought it. And then I also screamed, freaked out and carried on to such an extent that we have had a monthly exterminator ever since.

So, my husband the hero called the exterminator and said "look, we have a roach problem and you need to fix it". That's what he told me he said. He might have said "look, my wife is a hysterical baby and for the sake of keeping myself out of jail because if she keeps screaming like this I am going to strangle her perhaps you should come today". Regardless of what he actually said, they sent their little white truck with giant scorpions painted on the outside today!

And they told him the city has had to cut back and no longer treats the city sewers for insects. Yea. Good to know. And so lots and lots of customers are calling up with roaches in their house.

Accccck. Shudder.

So, I'm thinking about staying in my office all night and not heading back to our bathroom area at all. I'm pretty sure roaches couldn't come this far down the hall. Could they? They couldn't! Right?

And now that I have worked myself into a tizzy feeling stuff crawling on my legs and feet...

I'll just say goodnight.

And, hey, don't let the bedbugs bite.



Mardell said...

I can't help but laugh at your (ahem) funny post! I know you're not laughing, but at least you can maintain your sense of humor in this time of crisis. You know, I've never seen a cockroach in my life (knock on wood!) I imagine I'd react in the same fashion as you - perhaps even worse. I hope the exterminators get rid of them for you!

Jana said...

OH NO!!!! I totally understand it was like that in NC, I'm not afraid of bugs, but I think they belong outside so I got irritated. I laughed sooo hard when I read about your bath taking....I just told everyone on my blog to come check you out because thou art HI-larious!!!

Jana said...

ps I love your new blog layout

Lemonade Makin' Mama said...

I have NEVER seen one of these up close and personal... I might have nightmares now!

Your new blog look is super cute! (I mean I just discovered your blog yesterday, but since then, it's very cute...)