Prepare to be grossed out

Do you see this disgusting, disgusting, nasty, horrible, disgusting, gross and dare-I-say disgusting roach?

A relative of his was in my bathtub! Actually three relaties were in my bathtub - three different times over the past week!

I have been hysterical and grossed out and screaming like a crazy woman. Shudder.

Last night after I found the third gross bug I made my husband stay in the bathroom and watch for bugs while I took my bath. Trust me. It wasn't one of those erotic moments you see on TV where the woman reclines in the bubble bath with her shapely leg pointing gracefully toward the ceiling. It was more me throwing water violently around all the while shrieking "watch for bugs, watch for bugs!" I'm pretty sure my husband was not turned on! In fact, I'm certain of it.

We actually have an exterminator. AND our house is actually clean.

Hey, don't roll your eyes at me. It's true. OK, yes it's a little cluttery and sure there is some dust and the linen cabinet looks like a Bed, Bath and Beyond sale threw up in there.

But it's basically clean.

We haven't had roaches in our house since right after we bought it. And then I also screamed, freaked out and carried on to such an extent that we have had a monthly exterminator ever since.

So, my husband the hero called the exterminator and said "look, we have a roach problem and you need to fix it". That's what he told me he said. He might have said "look, my wife is a hysterical baby and for the sake of keeping myself out of jail because if she keeps screaming like this I am going to strangle her perhaps you should come today". Regardless of what he actually said, they sent their little white truck with giant scorpions painted on the outside today!

And they told him the city has had to cut back and no longer treats the city sewers for insects. Yea. Good to know. And so lots and lots of customers are calling up with roaches in their house.

Accccck. Shudder.

So, I'm thinking about staying in my office all night and not heading back to our bathroom area at all. I'm pretty sure roaches couldn't come this far down the hall. Could they? They couldn't! Right?

And now that I have worked myself into a tizzy feeling stuff crawling on my legs and feet...

I'll just say goodnight.

And, hey, don't let the bedbugs bite.

Sigh.