Monday, November 9, 2009

I feel bad for you !

Why, you ask?

Well...let me tell you.

I feel bad because you have never experienced the total toddler immersion of driving our youngest grand-daughter, Morgan, to school to pick up her sisters.

Morgan is three.

She is adorable.

No, I'm not biased. It's true.

She's adorable. Ask my husband. He'll tell you it's true.

So there.

Since you cannot experience the full toddler immersion package (unless you have a very, very loud three year old child around in some capacity) I thought I would bring the experience to you.

OK.

Buckle up.

Morgan: Gwamma? I eat candy!
Me: No, no Morgan not right now.
Morgan: Gwamma? Where we is going?
Me: To...
Morgan: ACCCCCKKKKKKKKK!!!!!! Slug-bug! Slug-bug Gwamma! Ha, ha! I beat you! Me: Yes, Morgan, that was a slug bug.
Morgan: Gwamma? I eat candy?
Me: No.... I
Morgan: SCHOOL BUS! SCHOOL BUS! SCHOOL BUS! Me: Mo, you don't have to scream whenever you see a school bus or a slug-bug. Grandma is trying to drive.
Morgan: I sowwy, Gwamma. Dat was an accadent. I berry, berry sorrrr...SLUG-BUG, SLUG-BUG! Me: OK, well no screaming.
Morgan: Gwamma? You need to keep your eyes peeled. Gwamma, look! Look! This is what peeled eyes look like! (scrunching eyes together)
Me: Yea, well that is definitely peeled eyes all ...
Morgan: SLUG-BUG, SLUG-BUG, SLUG-BUG!!!! Me: Morgan, you are making my ears bleed. Please, don't scream when you see a slug-bug.
Morgan: I sowwy, Gwamma. Dat was an accadent. Gwamma. Keep your eye peeled. Like a banana. A banana!!! (uproarious laughter) Gwamma, I .... SCHOOL BUS! SCHOOL BUS! SCHOOL BUS!!!!!!! Me: Morgy, I thought I asked you not to scream.
Morgan: No, Gwamma. You said no scweam slug-bug. Dat was a school... SLUG-BUG, SLUG-BUG!!!!!! OK. Where in the heck is something to blindfold this child with? Yes, she is adorable but she is definitely loud. Like screechingly, ear-poppingly loud.

And I thought we had already hit the highest loud on the scale...but then....then...she saw the Holy Grail of Slug-Bugs! Heavens, it was a green slug-bug! It was parked right beside us at the slowest stop light in history.

The child was practically hyper-ventilating. She was stuttering in her excitement. "SLLLLLUUUU....SLLLLLLLL....GRAMMA....IS GREEN! IS GREEN! IS GREEN SLUGGGGGG...." All I can say is thank heavens it didn't have glitter on it. She would have probably went into cardiac arrest at the age of three.

About two minutes later we finally got to the school.

I was exhausted.

And possibly partially deaf.

But I had to share this with you.

Because after all we are BLUDDY's! And that's what blog buddies do for each other.

It's OK.

You're welcome.

Sigh.

6 comments:

Jen said...

oh, that is such a fun age. What a fun afternoon, hope your ears are better. It's so cute that littles think they have to scream when they get excited. when my little one was almost 3 we went to Fort Steward in GA for my nephew's wedding and she kept grabbing my face and yelling "look mommy, there's an army guy." remember, we were on an army base and she never did stop, until we left the base.

Shannon @ Silver Trappings said...

Oh, wow. Hilarious! I'm still laughing!!! Every time I see a SLUG-BUG I'm gonna think of you and hear a 3-year-old screaming!

Monica said...

At least she doesn't punch you when she sees one like my kids do! I love hearing your stories!

Melinda Cornish said...

I have quite a few conversations with my three year old grandson blogged too...Arent they adorable? A lot of work, but adorable.....

laterg8r said...

i have that 3 year old and a 4 year old, and a baby - deafening in a car for sure :D

Junk Girl said...

Your blog is HILARIOUS!! Lovin' it. Your sense of humor is flippin' awesome! Wish you worked in my office...God, we'd have fun, Jenny!

Andrea