Sunday, November 29, 2009

Please write your congressman...

...or somebody like that.

Somebody important that can make big decisions that change how America works.

Because I can single-handedly decrease the epidemic rate of divorce in our country with a brilliant, simple pre-wedding test.

And I figure if I solve the problem of divorce and unhappy marriages I will also solve the problem of war in the world. Because I think that maybe most wars are started by people who don't get along with their spouse.

Don't roll your eyes. This is probably a true fact.

And if it's not a true fact it darned well should be.

But, somehow I strayed from the point of my blog. Focus, Jenny, Focus!

Oh yea...OK, here's what you do.

You take the potential bride and the potential groom.

You put them in a smallish room with a fake doorway, several fake windows, a little bit of fake landscaping, thirteen tangled up extension cords, a fuse box that explodes every five minutes and instructions to decorate.

Then you lock the door.

Through a small bullet-proof opening you hand in these... Then you set a timer for one hour.

I would probably highly recommend that you have paramedics standing by for each test...but that would be ANOTHER good thing because it would increase paramedic jobs substantially in the vicinity of all pre-wedding testing areas which would DECREASE unemployment.

Am I up for a Nobel Peace Prize here or what?

Now, when you unlock the door at the end of the hour if the couple is snuggled up on the floor singing Christmas carols they can proceed with marriage.

If the couple is bloodied, bruised, sulking or spitting at each other they cannot get a marriage license.

Simple.

Sweet.

Foolproof.

Hey, I told you it was a brilliant idea.

Now please forward a link to this blog to the congressman person or the President or someone like that as soon as you can.

It could change our world into a place of peace and harmony just in time for the holidays!

Gosh. I'm so smart.

Sometimes I even scare myself just a little.

What's that?

Sometimes I scare you just a little too? You're kidding right? Your just jealous because you didn't think of this brilliant idea.

But don't be a hater because...

You can think of the next brilliant idea. OK?

Sigh.

12 comments:

Diana said...

Well Jenny, I had discovered long ago that my husband is very good at untangling things, where I get frustrated. This would be simple for us. He'd untangle while I sang Christmas carols. Of coarse we have been married twenty years so it really wouldn't be a fair test!
But I think that your idea is simply ingenious. One suggestion, instead of sending the idea to the congressmen, how about sending it to Pastors, priests, Reverends and Rabbis? It would make their marriage counseling classes so much easier!
Love Di

Fairy Footprints said...

Jenny I hope you have a wonderful weekend.


»-(¯`v´¯)-»Thanks 4 visiting»-(¯`v´¯)-»Heidi»-(¯`v´¯)-»

Drama Queen said...

OMG - that was funny. That is so my hubby and me. We finally chucked the lights 2 years ago and only do pre-lit Christmas trees. Or else we would have been divorced. Or - I would be in prison for manslaughter. But I'd have a good defense, right? Surely a judge or jury would let me off if they knew it was all due to trying to untangle the freakin' lights.

Have a blessed day!

laterg8r said...

what happens if you open the door and the woman is singing carols and happy just watching the man get electrocuted and trying to untangle? LOL (cause that's what i'd be doing :D)

NoMoSlackMo said...

Hahaha! My hubby and I end up hating each other each year after untangling xmas lights, I think that is a normal response.

The people who are cuddling and lovey dovey after that experience, they're the ones that are going to end up murdering each other in their sleep! LOL

Jen said...

Jenny, this is TOO funny...we now have the "fancy" (they were a buck or 2 at Walmart years ago) light roller things. John always puts the lights on our tree, has for the past 16 years, and I take them down, now, before my roller thing, they would just get in a tote, and some little elf would tangle them sometime during the year. Much happier light hanging with roller thing...by the way I am LOVING my quilt. I have it on my lap as I type! I will be posting a picture of it on my blog this week now that I am finally home. It is wonderful and keeps me warm! thanks again!

Julie Schuler said...

Ha ha. Early in our marriage I decided to decorate Thanksgiving night and my lights from last year didn't work. My husband drove all over looking for lights. Poor guy. These days I probably would be more laid back about it. Probably.

Jules said...

This is so true!! That's why in our house I do the decorating ALONE. It keeps us happy....

Kimi@SoManyKidsSoLittleTime said...

Brilliant! I absolutely love it.

Lemonade Makin' Mama said...

hey smart idea girl... any idea how to make a puppy give me some peace through one stinkin night??? I might just lock her up in a room tonight myself!!!

Robin said...

Love this Jenny! Of course I could write a book about divorce. But on the lighter side, I used to say I was going to invent clip on lights and lo and behold they came up with prelit trees before I could make my million.

Got my first blog post on Southern Baby Biscuits... check me out!

Pat @ Mille Fiori Favoriti said...

LOL! So true ...so true! I also say to test them in a slow slow traffic jam...it's amazing how that can change a personality!