...or somebody like that.
Somebody important that can make big decisions that change how America works.
Because I can single-handedly decrease the epidemic rate of divorce in our country with a brilliant, simple pre-wedding test.
And I figure if I solve the problem of divorce and unhappy marriages I will also solve the problem of war in the world. Because I think that maybe most wars are started by people who don't get along with their spouse.
Don't roll your eyes. This is probably a true fact.
And if it's not a true fact it darned well should be.
But, somehow I strayed from the point of my blog. Focus, Jenny, Focus!
Oh yea...OK, here's what you do.
You take the potential bride and the potential groom.
You put them in a smallish room with a fake doorway, several fake windows, a little bit of fake landscaping, thirteen tangled up extension cords, a fuse box that explodes every five minutes and instructions to decorate.
Then you lock the door.
Through a small bullet-proof opening you hand in these... Then you set a timer for one hour.
I would probably highly recommend that you have paramedics standing by for each test...but that would be ANOTHER good thing because it would increase paramedic jobs substantially in the vicinity of all pre-wedding testing areas which would DECREASE unemployment.
Am I up for a Nobel Peace Prize here or what?
Now, when you unlock the door at the end of the hour if the couple is snuggled up on the floor singing Christmas carols they can proceed with marriage.
If the couple is bloodied, bruised, sulking or spitting at each other they cannot get a marriage license.
Hey, I told you it was a brilliant idea.
Now please forward a link to this blog to the congressman person or the President or someone like that as soon as you can.
It could change our world into a place of peace and harmony just in time for the holidays!
Gosh. I'm so smart.
Sometimes I even scare myself just a little.
Sometimes I scare you just a little too? You're kidding right? Your just jealous because you didn't think of this brilliant idea.
But don't be a hater because...
You can think of the next brilliant idea. OK?
The Horseradish Dinner.
3 hours ago