Sunday, November 8, 2009

Week Six - 12 weeks of Christmas challenge

SHOPPING!!!! Week six is about shopping! Oh man. Oh man. I'm not a big fan of the shopping. Oh, I do it. But lately I mostly order as much as possible on line and don't go out into the winter wonderland that is Phoenix in the winter! But because I am a good sport and because I think Keelie is awfully cool I'm going to do it! TODAY!

To do it there are several steps involved. I mean to actually start Christmas shopping.

Since I am one of those stay-at-home Grandma's with no "real job" the first step always involves my husband.

And today was the day.

We had planned to drive partway to Tucson to meet one of the sons and his girlfriend for lunch at the Cracker Barrel.

So I took along a legal pad and a pen and I told my husband we were gonna talk about Christmas on the way down.

...and, no surprise, I got the "look".

To which he replies, as he does each year, "give everybody 20 bucks and call it a day."

To which I reply every year "no way, be serious."

And then the negotiations start.

I make the list of people. He gasps in terror.

He closely questions many of the people on the list.

"Didn't we give them something for Christmas two years ago?" he says.

"Yes," I reply, "but they are my parents."

"Hmmmm," he sniffs, "well why is she on the list?"

To which I reply "she is our daughter."

And on it goes.

He tells me who to cross off and I make scritching noises with my pen but never actually do it.

And then comes the dreaded question.

"How much money do you want," he asks me. He asks me this every single year.

Now don't get my wrong. My husband is lovely and generous and kind and giving but he still goes into sticker shock. I sometimes think he has not actually bought ANYTHING since 1968 the way he reacts.

"14,305.00" I say.

He looks at me with raised eyebrows.

"11,500,00?" I say.

The eyebrows remain raised.

Hey, a girls gotta try! Right? And he did ask me. I mean, seriously, if you don't want the answer don't ask the question I say.

This continues as the price gets lower and lower.

Seriously, I keep expecting Howie Mandel to jump out and scream "DEAL OR NO DEAL?"

Which would probably scare the be-Jesus out of us and we'd wreck the car and then the whole point of Christmas negotiations would be pretty much over with.

But finally and eventually we get to the part of the conversation where I state the amount I really wanted.

Hee hee!

And now he is not so shocked because I started so high. Although I secretly harbor the fantasy that one year he will just say yes to my first ridiculously high number. As in "sure honey, you can have $14,305.00."

!!!! But that particular fantasy didn't come true this year again.

But he does agree to the real number! Woo hoo!

And can I just tell ya, this is a good trick. Try it sometime.

We conclude our yearly negotations and he tries to weasel his business gifts onto my budget.


Fat chance of that!

But I pretend to write a bunch of stuff down on the list because I know for a fact he will forget this was part of what we discussed.

Hee hee!

And I know for a fact he doesn't read my blog so I am totally safe in sharing all my little Christmas budgetting tips with you.

But now I'm too tired to actually shop.

This hard-core negotation stuff can be pretty tiring.

So I'm going to take a nap.



Red Writing said...

I like your style, Jenny Matlock.

Jen said...

Cute story, never hurts to aim high, heck, someday he "might" say yes. Have fun getting your shopping done...I LOVE the crowds/hustle/bustle of this time of the year.

Allie said...

Did I mention to you that I am almost complete with all my Christmas shopping? I have one gift left for Vandy and he ahs to order the Tupelo stuff for my baskets. Jealous, aren't you? Sooooo, I can help spend that $9650 you negotiated!!!

Fairy Footprints said...

Oh I hear ya I live in Phoenix and man you do not like to shop here, people are so ruid and they just hit ya with their carts to get down the isles, it's like they were not raised to know any better.

Great post, have a wonderful Sunday.


Maureen said...

I could so spend that $14,305.00! My budget is considerably more modest However. It is good that you have a limit though. It prevents nasty surprises in January.

Bits-n-Pieces said...

Hey! Thanks for stopping by my blog, and liking my cartoon. I love that series!
and OMG! I love your entry!! As I was reading it I kept this Erma Bombeck?? I loved her! I will definitely be back here!! So nice to meet you!!

laterg8r said...

it's like negotiating with the government - ask for double, they'll give you 1/2 LOL :D

weirdly my dh asked me the same question today!

Steve said...

Of course I read the blog -- busted!

E @ Scottsville said...

Well, you're way ahead of me! =0)

I love Christmas Shopping... when I can afford it. Which usually - I cannot. Ugggh.

I guess I'd better get on the ball, huh?

Happy Monday!

Carrie said...

Oh yes,'ve got your man's number!!!! I was laughing the whole time! :)

Melinda Cornish said...

ohhhh, you are good....I ficed the links too...thanks...they are now on my sidebar, just click on the picture!

Pat @ Mille Fiori Favoriti said...

Oh oh ...I see that Steve does indeed read your what will you do Jenny?

This will be my first Christmas a a grandma so I have a feeling I'd like to go overboard with my little guy. Since I have to fly across the country to do it, and there is only so much that will fit on an airplane, I'll have to shop there last minute. It should be interesting!

Lemonade Makin' Mama said...

Nicely done! Hope that nap was good.

I'm nearly done with my shopping.

You don't have to hate me, I'm only buying six presents. Lol

Kim @ Starshine Chic said...

Hilarious!!!! I think I need a nap too. Thanks for sharing your negotiations.

Drama Queen said...

Are you sure we're not married to the same hubby? This isn't "Big Love" or anything like that, is it? Cuz that sure sounds like the man I'm married to!

Have a blessed day!


The Quintessential Magpie said...

Jenny... this is a scream, and yes, I believe I will try that. Not sure Mr. Magpie won't see through my motives since he is a lawyer and is used to looking for someone that looks a little nervous to show their hand. LOL!


Sheila :-)

Shannon @ Silver Trappings said...

Lol - this was a great post!! Loved it.

Uh-oh. He does read it.

Sandy said...

This was fun and I enjoyed the music, too!