Polter-WHAT?

It's that whole 'i before e' rule that has me stumped.

Poltergeist doesn't look like it's spelled right.

But poltergiest doesn't look right either.

So I'm having trouble telling you this frightening tale of paranormal activity.

But I'll try.

Because it's Halloween.

And because I'm cool like that.

I'd never let a little thing like bad grammar or spelling keep me from telling you a story.

Yeah.

Ummm...

So...

I'm not one of those anal retentive people that need to have everything in perfect order at all times.

You know?

Hey.

Can you wait a second?

There's two pencils in my pencil cup with the eraser facing down and I. Must. Fix. That. Immediately.

Okay.

That's better.

Where was I?

Oh. Yeah. Polter-something and not being anal retentive.

So...

Every year I put my astonishing Halloween display of plastic pumpkins out on my front sidewalk.

One pumpkin on the right and left of each step. One pumpkin in front of each light. Two pumpkins on each side of the door, etc. etc.


Hmmm...

Okay. I guess maybe I am a bit anal retentive.

But only about plastic Halloween pumpkins. And pencils put into the pencil cup the wrong way.

However.

This year almost every single day my pumpkins ended up in disarray.


At first I thought it was the wind.

Then I thought it was Mr. Jenny trying to play cruel games with my emotional health. (don't look so surprised...he does that sometimes when he's totally bored...)

And then I thought it was Oskar the weiner dog knocking things over and looking for food.


And every time I would go out and find the pumpkins all strewn about, I'd take a few minutes and put them back where they were supposed to go. You know. In the proper order for plastic pumpkin arrangement. (NOT! Very anal retentive...so there!)

Okay. Now this is the scary part so make sure all the lights are turned on in the room where you're reading this.

I found out it wasn't the wind OR Mr. Jenny OR Oskar the weiner dog.

But I didn't know what was causing the weird, pumpkin disturbance almost every single day.


I was frightened.

I became unable to sleep.

I tried calling the Ghost Buster guys but apparently Bill Murray and Dan Ackroyd don't do that stuff anymore.

Things were looking bleak.

Until last Friday.

Friday morning was lovely and cool and Mr. Jenny opened the front door to let the cool breeze in.

While I was working in my office, I heard a woman's voice saying, "Come back! Come back! You aren't going in their yard again!"

Then I heard a little kids voice laughing in glee.

Then I looked outside and saw our next door neighbor's toddler re-arranging the pumpkins with great gusto.

I grabbed the camera...knowing it would be a perfect picture to share with you and I ran to the front door.

I scared the little kid to death!

He threw the pumpkin he was moving up into the air!

His mouth made a perfect little "O" and then his lower lip started to tremble.

I clicked the button on the camera and the battery was dead.

Accccckkkk!

He ran across the yard to his Mom, crying.

I looked over at her and waved and said, "Awww, isn't that cute that he likes to do that?"

Yeah.

I think he got in trouble because my pumpkins have remained perfectly arranged ever since.

And it makes me sad.

Because not only do I have no Polter-WHAT?, I made a little kid cry.

So I put out a little piece offering for him on the wall between our houses.


BUT...

The next morning the pumpkins were gone!

Gone, I tell ya.

Like maybe there really is a Polter-WHAT? wandering around who absconded with the peace offering pumpkins.

Boy.

You never know what kind of creepy stuff can happen on Halloween. Especially if you have a polter-WHAT?, poltergiest...poltergei...

TODDLER running rampant through the neighborhood.

...

...

Sigh...