Thursday, February 4, 2010

I want to start writing about Dad's 80th party...

...I really, really do.

But something major happened.

So I need to interrupt my regularly scheduled writing to bring you an important bulletin.

I have made it one of my missions in life here at Jenny Matlock to keep you well-informed at all times about many diverse aspects of life. Please consider this a full-service announcement about weiner dog eating habits.

OK.

Are you ready?

Here it is.

Weiner dogs do not like gluten-free cereal.

It is now a documented fact because I have written it down in my blog. And if something is written down in a blog it is, obviously, true. Right?

So up until yesterday I thought weiner dogs would eat anything with the exception of raw onions.

A weiner dog can hear a tiny crumb drop when he is at the other end of the house and come barreling into your kitchen with enough purpose to knock you over. A big feat for a short little dog like that.

A weiner dog can lick a rug bare if a tiny drop of coffee falls onto it.

A weiner dog can...well, you get the idea...

BUT...

Hey, do you have the number for the National Enquirer because I think they would pay big for this story. Just e-mail it to me, OK, cuz I want to finish this story so all the documentation will be official and all.

Ummm.... where was I?

Oh yea.

I think I need to make this all professional and non-emotional so the world will take this seriously.

Ahem.

1. We have a weiner dog.
2. I was taking a bath and eating cereal in the bathtub and...(no, it's not because I'm messy...it's because I was running late and this particular cereal takes about five minutes to chew for each mouthful - so there Miss Negative!)
...when 3. I put the cereal bowl down on the carpet and proceeded to wash my hair while trying not to choke on the mouthful of cereal I was still chewing on.

Did I mention a weiner dog can hear a dish set quietly on the floor at the neighbors house and will pace with great determination trying to figure out how to grow opposable thumbs so he can open the front door and get to it.

So...said weiner dog (see, doesn't that sound serious and professional and all) came flying into the bathroom with his ears a-floppin' every which way and immediately dived into said bowl of cereal.

He stopped.

He coughed.

He looked at me with big, brown, hurt eyes.

And then he daintily licked all of the rice milk out of the bowl and with a totally disgusted look on his face walked huffily away!

See, did I tell ya or did I tell ya?

This is amazing isn't it?

I knew you would be impressed and amazed just like I was.

I mean, I can tell you about my Dad's party any old day...but rarely can I have the pleasure of bringing you breaking news of this magnitude.

NosirreeBob I wasn't going to waste your time with boring tales of a party that is over when I could bring this information to you.

Please feel free to spread the word.

What?

Oh, of course you're welcome. My pleasure.

Sigh.

I am linking this post to the Follow me Friday, bloghop!
MckLinky Blog Hop

post signature



70 comments:

Simply Stacie said...

Following you from the Friday Follow.

http://stacievaughansblog.blogspot.com

5thsister said...

Thank you for this very important Public Service Announcement. Labs, on the other hand, will eat ANYTHING (except raw carrots).

~Shelley~ said...

That was TOO FUNNY!!!!! Aww...I had a little miniature weiner doggie when I was growing up..too cute!!

Thanks for visiting me! I'm your newest follower :)

~Shelley

Dawn said...

I think the real story here is eating ceral in the shower. You must be a master at multitasking!
Hugs,
Dawn

misslynda said...

I think our Lab wouldn't eat dill pickles. He was always introducing our little mixed breed to new leftovers. Maybe it was the Taco Soup when the little dog looked at the Lab with an expression that said, "Are we really supposed to like this?"

Joyful Girl Naturals said...

Hi stopping by to say hello. Following thru Friday Follow

Lisa said...

Great post!! Weiner dogs are so funny!

New from Friday Follow:)

Ode to Motherhood said...

Funny post! Love it.

Thanks for the follow. Following you back.

The Quintessential Magpie said...

LOL, Jenny!

I knew that Min Pins would eat anything, and this explains it... I think they were bred from Weiners.

XO,

Sheila :-)

Amy aka: ropergirl3 said...

that is too funny I too have a mini wienie dog!!!
Friday following you!

Linda said...

Jenny not sure at this point who is funnier, you or your wiener dog! I got a funny visual of you 'multi tasking' eating and bathing....you are so talented. wonderful post.

sitting on the mood swing at the playground said...

Taking a bath and eating my cereal...love it. I've yet to find something my dog won't eat but she's never tried gluten-free cereal.

Stopping by from friday follow.

The Wilson's said...

Oskie is bad!

ritad said...

Yes, Dachshunds (mine told me to use that word, she hates being called a wiener dog) will eat almost anything..Mine will, except for pretzels and ketchup. She'll plow through a basket of Chex mix and leave every pretzel....

Crystal said...

I'm following from Friday Follow
http://www.thriftyandfrugalliving.com

Moriah said...

I'm sitting in a hospital room watching my 10 year old daughter get another breathing treatment and feeling really crappy. I open up my notebook computer to take my mind off of things and read some blogs I follow. Your post had me laughing out loud which I really needed today! Thank you!

Moriah said...

I'm sitting in a hospital room watching my 10 year old daughter get another breathing treatment and feeling really crappy. I open up my notebook computer to take my mind off of things and read some blogs I follow. Your post had me laughing out loud which I really needed today! Thank you!

Busy Bee Suz said...

I have not found anything that my dogs won't eat. yet.
I can't believe this was not on CNN this morning.
I also can't believe you can bathe and eat at the same time.
Multitasking is your 'thing' woman.

Aunt Amelia's Attic said...

Ahhhhhhhh but! I must interrupt this amazing display of Information.

Because...

It is only your weiner dog who dislikes said cereal.

Can you document that 1,000 other weiner dogs so the same thing?

-sigh-

I don't think you need alert the Nat. Inquirer yet. Because of lack of this extra evidence. For we all know that The Nat. Inquirer never prints news, without doing strict fact checking, before hand.

>,-)))))))))))

.♥.♥.♥.♥.♥.♥.

Deb said...

well a good dog story always trumps anything else....man if a weiner dog passes up something you might want to give it a second thought...that would be like my bird dog bliss turning her nose up at anything....shoot my schnauzer Nolan can wake up from a dead sleep if you drop a cracker crumb 3 rooms over....

Sara said...

Hi Jenny
Thank you so much for following me and I will try the damp washcloth for my son's teeth. Hopefully that will help

I am now following you and can't wait to read more. I always thought wiener dogs ate everything, guess noy

JDaniel4's Mom said...

Thanks for stopping by! I am following.

Betsy from Tennessee said...

Oh Girlie, You are just too darn funny... I thought something really serious was happening--and I would just see you with a sick Weeney Dog at the Vet's office --getting his tummy pumped or something..... Glad Mr. Weeney is okay...

The funniest thing to me is picturing you in the tub eating your cereal. Did you have on the romantic music and have the candles lit??????? ha ha ha

Great post --as usual, and MUCH MUCH more important than your Dad's ole stinkin' birthday... huh??????


Hugs,
Betsy

Maggey and Jim said...

You scared me at first, I thought something happened to you dog? Well glad it didn't.. I know how attached we get to our animals..
Maggey

Dimes2Vines said...

Stopping by from Fri Follows - I'm a new follower. Love to have you stop by:
http://dimes2vines.com

Bird said...

Very funny post!! :)

As somebody commented, it's true Labs will eat anything including their own poop..I have one so I should know!! :(

Are you feeling lucky now?? :)

Thanks for entering Bird Crafts giveaway!! And good luck with that!

Anita said...

I thought my schnoodle was the greediest dog around, but I think your weiner dog beats her out.

Pat @ Mille Fiori Favoriti said...

Too funny Jenny! My friends dogs eat everything...it is alwasy an adventure to walk in the park with them as we never know what they will sniff out!

CRAZYMOM said...

How funny! My Boxer won't eat apples but my Lab loved them! Weird. Friday Following you back. I LLLLOVE your typewriter fonts...I will be featuring some fonts this month under the category of stuff I {love}!

Lynette said...

Oh Jenny I so gotcha...with 5 dogs and 3 cats that are the same way. Of course why was you not eating milk bone cereal we do not understand. I am sure you could chew it for 5 minutes too. And then poor poochie would have a tastier breakfast.

Chrissie said...

Thanks for following my site. I am now following yours too!

Sue (Someone's Mom) said...

I sort of got stuck at the fact you were taking a bath and eating cereal at the same time...uh, can't say I've tried that one.

Sue

The Powell Family said...

Thanks for stopping by and commenting! Your post cracked me up today! Thanks for the laugh! I am impressed with your eating and bathing at the same time. I've done a lot of thing all at once, but never gave that one a try!! ;) Keep up the great posts!!!

Allie said...

Okay, that was a great story. And I think I am weiner dog.

Terri and Bob said...

I thought the cereal packaging looked decent enough.. whoda guessed that it wasn't dog friendly!

Country Dreaming said...

Oh--how funny!!!!

Melinda

Anonymous said...

Jenny...you are too funny !!! I can't believe Oskar didn't like the cereal ~~ the packaging surely makes it look appetizing ~~ whodathunk it????

Linda B

Mrs. M said...

That is HILARIOUS. Great post.

I'm following you from Friday Follow.
http://kibblendribble.blogspot.com/

Blackberry Jam Cafe said...

Great PSA ;) Now following you from Follow Friday! Stop by soon....

Jo said...

ha ha ... ihave a Machorkie (malteses chihuahua yorkie) that has the same capabilities as your dog ... I swear she can here a grain of cooked rice hit the floor

Catrina said...

Thanks for following me, Now following you. :)

~Kim~ said...

This is too funny!! Our pups can be quirky can't they? But that just makes them so much more endearing and for me, it means I have something else in common with my dogs because I'm quirky too! :-)
Enjoy your weekend, and THANKS for the grin on a cold snowy Friday night!!
Also THANK YOU for stopping by my blog! I enjoy hearing from you and getting to know you! :-)))

Rita A. said...

Love it. My cats taught my dog how to hang out in the kitchen for droppings. Now it is a competition for the spills. Too Funny. Thanks for joining Friday Follow. Glad to have you part of the fun. Rita @ http://one2try.blogspot.com/

Lorie said...

I can't say I blame him. I love gluten

Cindy said...

Heh. Great story!

Thanks for following me...I've returned the favor. Oh! I just changed to that blog background tonight...your timing is impeccable!

Coupon Teacher said...

Thanks for visiting my blog, I am now following yours.

Justine said...

OMG, hysterical from beginning to end!!! Eating in the bathtub. Okay, that is totally disgusting. But what's even more disgusting is eating that squirrel crap with rice milk. What the hell is wrong with you?????

Justine :o )

mom2three said...

oh my gosh you are hilarious and so is your dog! Thanks for stopping by my blog today. I am now following you too! Hope you have a fantastic weekend!

All My Yesterdays said...

Ok Jenny....
What I want to know (none of what you do surprises me)is...
Did you finish eating the cereal???

Janet said...

Great post!

Thanks for the follow. I'm following you back.

Sally said...

Now, that is funny!! There's a weiner dog around here who completely NUTS!! He's not mine, he's my daughter's but he "seems" to live here a LOT!!

I can open the fridge to get something; normally he doesn't follow but if I go for "cheese" somehow he knows and beats me there!

His name is Hopper Henry! :)

Connie said...

Poor Weiner Dog! He'll never trust you again! My in-laws have had dachsund dogs ever since I've known them. And you're right about everything you said, I just didn't know about the gluten-free cereal. It's time to record it in my journal. Thanks for sharing. Yes, I know, you've already said I was welcome.

Rustique Gallery said...

Jenny, you crack me up! Eating cereal in the bath, and all. Smart doggie, he knows what he likes!
Sherry

Annesphamily said...

That is an important story and I am glad you interrupted your birthday bash story! That little dog crcks me up! Too cute!

Margaret said...

Following you back from Friday follow! Thanks and have a great weekend!

Sage said...

Wow that was interesting! Anxious to read about you Dad's party. Have a nice weekend.
Rita

My name is PJ. said...

When the dog won't eat it.....hmmmmm...

Matlock, a dog will eat another dog's poop. I've seen it.

Bits-n-Pieces said...

Gosh Girl!! You crack me up.
I'll tell you what's worse than that..
when a cock-a-poo that looks more like the poo side of her heritage than the cock-a we'd hoped she'd look like won't eat the freshly made cookie you just took out of the oven! I mean...whats up with that? She eats plastic coke bottles and pantyhose and popcorn..but not a cookie? Am I really that bad of a cook?

Bits-n-Pieces said...

Guess what!! I just gave you an award! I know I know...you are too excited for words!! I hope you like it tho!! :)

Diana said...

Gee Jenny, I had no idea that wiener dogs and Pugs were related! My pug must have taken lessons from your wiener dog!
Love Di

lovemylevi said...

Following you from the FF link up- Hope to see you at http://luvsjurn3.blogspot.com soon!

MisAdventuresofMomof3 said...

That's so funny!!! Haha!!! Thanks for the follow - following you back.

RNSANE said...

You must not have been all that hungry or you would have finished the cereal before you washed your hair...so I guess it wasn't so bad that your doggie helped himself.

The account of it is hysterical, though!

RNSANE said...

You must not have been all that hungry or you would have finished the cereal before you washed your hair...so I guess it wasn't so bad that your doggie helped himself.

The account of it is hysterical, though!

RNSANE said...

There's an award for you over at my blog.

Yaya said...

Lol!!!!!

Gotta love those weiner dogs, my parents have two!


And yes, everything written on a blog IS true.

Judy Harper said...

I heard Meredeth Hesselbeck(?), from the View, talking about having to be on a gluten free diet due to an illness that she has. Until then, I had never heard of gluten free food. Interesting. Pets are so amazing and can be so funny in their expressions!

HeartsMakeFamilies said...

Hi there. Too funny! Welcome to the Friday Follow. I'm your newest follower. So glad to have you with us. Thanks for posting about it. I'm way behind but here I am.

Tami
www.heartsmakefamilies.com

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