Sunday, September 19, 2010

Saturday Centus - Week 20

Thanks Tina for the prompt this week. It is in bold.



“Home, sweet Home,” she thought sarcastically as she entered the cheap apartment where her family now lived.

The sour smell of failure wafted through the room like a recession-scented air ‘freshener’.

Each day when she got home from her part-time job at Wendy’s, she tried to scrub another nasty area of the disgusting place she refused to call home.

Turning on the small TV screen for distraction, she filled her bucket in the discolored sink. “Government advisers are heartened by the upward economic trend…blah, blah, blah, blah…”

"This is never going to come out," she thought as she scrubbed at the spot on the worn carpet.

“Oh, yea,” she contemplated bitterly, “I am most definitely heartened by this phenomenal, upward trend.”



This post is linked to week 20 of Saturday Centus. To read the other short stories, just click here!

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25 comments:

June Freaking Cleaver said...

Other than the hovel, I have a similar reaction to the news I hear about the economy...at least she has the part-time job at Wendy's.

I think my can of Oust has that scent...maybe that's the problem.

Bookie said...

Boy, this one catches a lot of things, Jenny. Although it has been years, I can smell the smell from places I have been in and tried to clean. The smell of failure...that was a good sentence!

Viki said...

If this wasn't so sad it would almost be funny. I could go on and on about the unemployment and how some people think people aren't really looking for work but my head might explode, ha. Good Centus.

Ames said...

I feel fortunate to be where I am in my life. I may have started out struggling but have pulled myself up by my boot straps. This was excellent Jenny! I can relate to your post. Definitely a slice of reality in 100 words or less.!Ames

Kat said...

Really well written, Jenny, I can feel her frustration in every word. Love the line "recession scented air freshener" - I can relate all too well right now.

Lourie said...

I think we all can relate to this. All to well in fact. Very well written.

Slamdunk said...

I enjoyed the read Jenny. Thanks for sharing the recession scented air freshener

Rayna M. Iyer said...

What a poignant piece. And she is supposed to be glad she has a part-time job at least.

Amy said...

See, the problem with the Centus is I always want to read more. I love the word imagery. I think that is my favorite part of reading.

And it goes without saying, I love your story!

Tgoette said...

LOL! You really brought it with this story Jenny! This was an awesome piece with some delicious work pairings and the palpable feelings of disgust and frustration just oozing all over the page.

Either that or my drooling problem is getting out of hand.

I loved this! Another fine job, Mrs. M! Kudos!

Splendid Little Stars said...

wonderful! and I've enjoyed reading some of the other entries! What a fun meme!

My name is PJ. said...

Your writing gets better and better. It's much like practicing an instrument or a sport every day.....

Jessica B said...

Wow -- another awesome post where you can convey so much with so few words. Love it! :)

Sue said...

This one is both timely and amusing.

Well-written, too.

A+, if I may presume...

=)

jeff campbell said...

I like...but way to dark for me...I expect something more refreshing next time...:-) Peace and blessings

RockiBottom said...

Hey! I think I used to live in that apartment! I know I have lived in that place in life.

RawknRobynsGoneBlogWild said...

I really enjoyed this and can totally relate. I'm sensing that "sour smell of failure" right now, in fact. Great phrase.
xoRobyn

skinner675 said...

Wow! Such descriptive writing Jenny! I'm in awe!

Sara Katt said...

Well, at least she has a part time job. My mommie's still out of work. But we live better though - for now, at least.

Great text, very good use of the prompt. This is a text that is so well-written and sadly, so true.

I thought it was so much fun to link onto 'Alphabe-Thursday' the last week of 'Rainbow Summer School' last week that I am here again trying out Saturday Centus.

Mommie helped me type. But I made up the story!
Purrs,
Sara Cat

(I am now following your blog!)

Susannah said...

"The sour smell of failure wafted through the room like a recession-scented air ‘freshener’."

...I really enjoyed that line. Good writing! :-)

myorii said...

Wow, this really captured what the atmosphere is like in the US because of the economy. Very good writing!

~Lissa said...

Wow. Nailed it. Relateable,funny, moody, current,and beautifully written.

I could feel the frustration and smell the "recession scented air freshener."

Perfect!

Terra said...

Ok, I know I read this, I can't see a comment from me though so where the heck was I? ARGH. I am playing catch up I guess. I loved it the first time and the second time I read it. The upward trend my tail....

Anna said...

Wonderfully heartfelt post!
Best wishes,
Anna
Anna's SC-Week-20

cj Schlottman said...

Hi, Jenny! It's actually me. Didn't get a piece posted but am trying to catch up so I can start fresh.

I love this piece, can smell the squalor, would send them some candles if I could. I feel the thump of our Wendy's girl's heart as she obsesses over her unfortunate situation. I can only say I am happy she has a job.

Thanks for this reminder - especially in view of my recent tirades about my paychecks being short. At least I can stand the heat. If this girl's check were shorted, they would be hungry.

cj