Wednesday, September 29, 2010

Reading between the lines...

So...

Yesterday Mr. Jenny brought the mail in and said, "You have a rejection letter from the New Yorker."

Hmmm...

I opened the envelope up and here's what was inside.


I feel pretty certain this is not a real rejection letter and here's why:

1. My name is not on this letter.

2. I got this letter two weeks after sending in my little short story manuscript. Sure, I sent it in the world's coolest envelope with the world's coolest little insert to be sure and catch their eye, but I've heard that they take around 6 weeks just to get through the backlog of submissions.

And 3. There are teeth marks in the upper left hand side of this letter. You may have to click on the letter to see them, but they are definitely there. OK, there is a small possibility the teeth marks are mine, but still.

I'm certain, in fact, that the wrong letter got inserted into the envelope they had addressed to me.

This is the letter I'm positive they meant to send:

Dear Jenny,

Your writing was so amazing we do not feel our publication is good enough to publish it.

We were astonished you would lower yourself to send it to us.

We will be forever grateful.

Sincerely and with highest regards,

The Editors
The New Yorker


See? It's all about reading between the lines.

I feel so much better now.

Sigh...

post signature

40 comments:

J. Kwiatkowski said...

Oh Jenny, I'm sorry. At least you heard back. The publishing company to whom I sent my Ludmila story seems to have absconded with my only copy.

5thsister said...

Oh my...there really are teeth marks. I am sure it was all a terrible mistake. Cheers!

June Freaking Cleaver said...

Maybe this first letter was an attempt to assure that the Postal Service is doing its job. They'll wait for it to return marked "not at this address" - then they'll send you your five figure check and a letter of congratulations.

Keep watching the mail.

Bits-n-Pieces said...

It's all in how you translate it! :)
Hope your week is going well!!

BECKY said...

Hey...The New Yorker! Wow! I don't blame you for reading between the lines! :D

Busy Bee Suz said...

Well if it makes you feel better, lots of people get rejected from lesser forms of media.
Teeth marks? You are the best Jenny.
Much luck in ALL you do...you deserve the world on a platter!!!

magsmcc said...

You're absolutely right, Ms Matlock. There has been a lamentable oversight, and your million dollar commision will be with you forthwith. In the meantime you should take out your credit card and buy lots of new stuff, just while you're waiting for the cheque...

Cheryl said...

DID you neglect to send a self-addressed stamped envelope? It sounds like you're getting spanked for that instead of being rejected.

I like the between-the-lines version ever so much better.

Wanda..... said...

Their loss, Jenny...they could have attracted readers with your "name" alone...JENNY MATLOCK'S lAUGH LINES.

Mid-Atlantic Martha said...

Yes -- I'm sure that's what they really meant -- They just enclosed the wrong letter.

Jocelyn said...

Now how in the world did they do this!!!!! I am sure that letter of acceptance is floating around in the postal service!!!!

Kat said...

Rejection just makes us stronger. Oh, hooey on that. I much prefer the second version, and if those editors had a lick of sense that's the letter they meant to send. Chin up, your day will come. Just don't get too big for your britches and forget all of us "little people" :) Hugs, Kat

Aging Mommy said...

I did my first submission for publication a couple of weeks ago and am expecting a similar response about my story - talent such as ours is sometimes just too great for such lowly publications :-)

Great post and thank you for sharing, as and when the inevitable rejection notification hits me I shall feel so much better knowing I am keeping such very good company :-)

Amy said...

obviously they sent it to the wrong person. Obviously. I am pretty sure they will realize their mistake soon and send you a huge apology filled with flowers and cookies (which you can't eat so you might as well send them along to me) and a large sum of money begging your manuscript back. Because obviously that is the only logical thing that could have happened.

Drama Queen said...

But of course that letter was not meant for you...! Your writing should most definitely be in The New Yorker - or perhaps Vanity Fair! Even better!

However it works out, kudos to you for keeping up your spirits and your fantastic, most-excellent writing!

Aunt Amelia's Attic said...

Isn't it the way...? For all Writers...? That many Rejections pave the way for We-Love-It's?

Gentle hugs...

Theresa said...

I feel sure that letter wasn't meant for you! Perhaps for, Sundays with Steve? HUH?

Have a blessed day and keep writing!

HUGS!

Sue said...

I actually have a notebook filled with all the rejection letters I received before my first publication. None from the New Yorker, though! I think I'll have to submit something there so I can add their rejection slip to my collection!

;)

Tina said...

It's their loss, my friend. Just keep writing!

Allie said...

I know a Guido, just saying!

H said...

Stick at it Jenny. It doesn't mean you're a bad writer, just not the style they are looking for. Your niche is out there and it's a good one! Keep searching and let us know how it goes.

Sharon K. Mayhew said...

Oh, Jenny...What a bummer! Who is next on your list for that article? Quick pop it in the post ASAP!

Great post...Lots of fun. :)

Gattina said...

You are right ! they certainly wrote this and it was all a misunderstanding.
I am new, not in Blogworld but for the Alphabet Thursday !I want to join in. So I wrote a post with the letter B.
Is this already your introduction post (the B's, not bees are missing ?) or do I have to wait until tomorrow, I am nearly one day ahead of you, in time of course ! I live in Brussels/Waterloo.

Gattina said...

Sorry I forgot, I will publish my post tomorrow morning (Thursday) while you are probably still sleeping.

Mumsy said...

Well, that just stinks. They didn't even bother to tell why they rejected the material. Your version of how their letter should have been makes much more sense. They aren't the only ones out there...give some more a chance to publish your super work. Hugs

LemonyRenee' said...

The hacks can't even get an acceptance letter right. They don't deserve your brilliance!

Paula said...

Oh what fools they are!!! Post their phone number Jenny so we can set them straight!
Hey, who reads the New Yorker anyways? New Yorkers??
Just keep writing for us sweetie, we love you!

Meri Wiley said...

Ahhh poop on em' I never liked their publication anyway! It's not your fault they have bad taste. Don't you worry missy, it's gonna get published.

LOve yu,
Meri

NatureGirl said...

Whew! That was a close one! If you start writing for them...what will WE read???!

Cheryl D. said...

Yeah...they always seem to mix up letters for my submissions to! They have to be more careful about who they hire in their admin department!

razzamadazzle said...

I would certainly be impressed if it were a REAL rejection letter because that means you were brave enough to send it in. That alone deserves an award!

Teresa

Vanessa said...

Oh Miss Jenny! I think that there was just some booger picker up in a cubicle somewhere who made a big giant mistake! What do they know? They have obviously never been to your blog to see how much we all love your writing! :-)
Vanessa

Lourie said...

Well it's their loss! And yes, I think the other letter is the one they were supposed to send. They must have had some intern do it.

Marlene said...

Definitely a fake letter! I concur!!!! You totally rock!

Jennifer said...

At least The New Yorker is far from the only publication in existence. :)

Sue (Someone's Mom) said...

They made a big error in judgement. Sorry...keep trying, you deserve to be published.

KK said...

I'm sure that's what they meant!

My name is PJ. said...

Battle scars! Wear them like a badge of honor. xo

Willoughby said...

I agree with you, you received the rejection letter in error. Someone at the New Yorker should be fired for this little mix-up!

Pondside said...

I'm sure, too, that this is exactly what they meant - good thing you are intuitive and good at reading between the lines. I'm sure a big fat cheque will follow!