Monday, January 24, 2011

Just call me Venus...

...and you can call Mr. Jenny, Mars.

Never has the difference between men and women been so apparent to me then over this past weekend.

No, this story doesn't involve a toilet seat being left up and a butt baptism in the middle of the night.

It involves what happens when you try to sell a car...together...

We finally decided it's time to get rid of my Maxima. We rarely drive it, we want to get a truck eventually, and quite frankly I need more space in the garage to store stuff I buy at garage sales (but don't tell Mr. Jenny that last reason, please!)

So we did the usual thing...put an ad on Craigs list and answered some calls.


On Friday evening we got an unusual one, though, from a Minnesota phone number. The caller had very broken English so I passed the phone to Mr. Jenny.

His end of the conversation went something like this, "Yeah, good condition...say again? I'm sorry, I can't understand you...yeah...no, good leather...I'm sorry I can't understand what you're asking me...yeah...runs good...excuse me? Say again? I don't...well, no. I don't think I'm comfortable with that."

...and then he covered the receiver and whispered to me, "This guy wants me to drive the car by his hotel so he can see it..." ...and then he resumed his conversation...

"Ummm...yeah...no I understand you have cash but I'm not comfortable with this. Let's forget it, but thanks for calling."

Just as we started to discuss how weird this was, the phone rang again. It was the same phone number but a different person with broken English who explained that his friend had just talked to us and that they really needed a car and that they had cash and that all Mr. Jenny had to do was drive it to the hotel.

Mr. Jenny declined.

The third call came a few minutes later from the same number, but this time it was a woman with broken English. Mr. Jenny told her, "Look, I think the car is already sold, but call tomorrow around 1 o'clock and if it's still available I'll think about this."

When he hung up I said, "What are you doing?" and he replied, "I want to finish watching this educational show on PBS (OK, he actually said that he wanted to finish watching the Good Wife but I'm trying to make us look smarter then we actually are...sigh...)

Saturday morning we were running a few errands and he brought up the car issue, "Can you believe those people actually thought I would drive the car to their hotel in the middle of the night so they could see it?"

I said: Tehcnically, I don't think 8:00 pm is the middle of the night and maybe they really need a car.

He said: Yeah, maybe I really need to be robbed at gunpoint.

I said: I could follow you there and have my hand on the phone ready to dial 911.


He said: That'll help...NOT! What if they want to take it for a ride? Are you going to follow along behind me in my car?

I said: Of course I will. Maybe they just really need a car.

He said: Maybe they just need to launder drug money.

I said: That's dumb. If they wanted to launder drug money they would get a car that costs a lot more than 5 grand!

He said: How would you know? Is that how you do it when you launder money? Or maybe it's counterfeit money.

I said: We'll buy a conterfeit pen. Maybe they really need a car. Maybe their car broke down and they have no way to go back to Minnesota. Maybe they have a sick baby. Did you hear a baby in the background? Was there a baby crying?


He said: That's a lot of maybes and no, there was no baby crying.

I said: Well maybe it was asleep. OR maybe their paraplegic daughter is a student at ASU and she got her car stolen and part of her scholarship requires perfect attendance at classes AND maybe she's in a wheelchair but the wheel is kind of wonky and she can't get to school AND...

He said: Really. Stop. I'm not going by some hotel to show a car to someone who can't speak English who wants to give me a bag full of cash and...

I said: You are sooooo uncompassionate. What if they...

He said: Seriously, just stop. When they call this afternoon we'll deal with it.

So, we did our errands, I made him stop at Staples so I could run in and buy counterfeit pens (OK, I actually told him I needed shipping labels but they were practically right next to each other on aisles 1 and 13 in the store anyway), and we just avoided the whole subject.

1 o'clock came around and no call.

1:15, no call.

1:30, no call.

I went into Mr. Jenny's office and said, "I hope you're happy now! They probably had to walk to take the sick baby to the hospital..."

"They could have taken a cab, you know. They had cash, remember? And there was no baby crying in the background."

How irritating. How can he be so Mars when there is some poor paraplegic girl trying to get to school in a wheelchair with a wonky wheel?

Just...

Just...

Sigh...

PS. I didn't really think he should go...I just like to be marsumentative...you know? Keep him on his toes!

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15 comments:

myorii said...

Ok, maybe I'm from Mars too....because I totally side with Mr. Jenny on this one (Please don't shoot me!) The whole thing sounds kind of suspicious to me. I mean, who really *needs* to see a car at 8pm at night? It's not even safe to drive that late let alone check out a car you plan to buy. If they need the car for their paraplegic daughter, it's probably not a good idea for her to drive out at nights anyway, right? Plus, the whole paying for cash thing...I don't know... For all we know, they might plan to use the car to rob a bank and then let you guys take the fall for it.

Then again, I'm the type of person who's paranoid and borders really close to becoming a person who'll wear tin foil hats to keep the government from getting into my brain (ok, not that paranoid...but enough).

Theresa said...

Oh, I agree with Mr. Jenny! I am afraid of Craig's List people! Happy your didn't win that argument and head off in the dark to sell your nice ride:)

Have a nice day, stay safe! HUGS!

5thsister said...

You are just too compassionate for your own good, Ms. Jenny. I, for one, am glad Mr. Jenny is there to keep you centered. :o)

Judie said...

You mean The Good Wife isn't an educational program?

I hear enough broken English when I call Qwest about my phone service. I'm with Steve. If they have $5000 cash, They could have taken a cab to the nearest police station and met Steve there to look at the car.

Mind like a steel trap, eh??

Rocky Mountain Woman said...

I'm one of those people who would go to the hotel and sell them the car only for less money than I was asking because of the sick baby and all..

just saying..

Sue said...

Okay, Jenny. This post was delightful...like good medicine. Your sense of humor deserves an A++. (Maybe even three plusses...)

=D

H said...

SUSPICIOUS!!! Mr Steve was spot on.

Holly said...

Did you know that for the rest of the day, after reading your posts, I walk around with a smile on my face and a chuckle in my head????
thanks for always bringing a bright, sunny spot to my day!!!

So, did you sell the car yet??

Aunt Amelia's Attic said...

YOU-ARE-AN-EEEEEVIL-VENUS!!!!

-gigggggggggggggles-

Hugs and ♥'s...
'Cause Valentine Day is coming!

Sue (Someone's Mom) said...

I am so Mars on this one! I wouldn't meet anyone after dark...and if they had $5000 in cash, I'd probably want to change my phone number so they couldn't track me. I tend to imagine worse case scenarios!

Deb said...

it pains me but I agree with Mr. Jenny...safety first...of course I've been married to a man for almost 28 years that will only sit with his back to the wall in public...and I always know where all the exits...and fire escapes are any where I go...so....

Stef said...

Haha. That is insane. They really liked your car. A lot. And what kind of man deprives someone from being able to park in those much coveted handicapped parking spaces?? How rude! I mean, really.

Splendid Little Stars said...

Oh the tale you weave, the yarn you spin!!
simply delicious!
Oh the comments you elicit!

Ames said...

Once again, I watch way too much Criminal Minds. The little hairs standing up on my neck are my internal red flags. I have noticed them ever since I was a little girl. Once they start going up I back out of situations slick as a whistle. So, I have to side with Mr. Jenny. Although... I do enjoy how you always keep the Mr. on his toes. Hee hee!~Ames

Willoughby said...

The craigslist nut jobs! We've dealt with quite a few, ourselves. I'm glad Mr. Jenny didn't drive to the hotel to show them the car. It's probably a good thing they didn't come to your house either.

A man in our area was killed by someone perpetrating a scam on craigslist. He and his friend were both shot, but his friend survived. I've been paranoid about everyone on craigslist since then.