Monday, August 22, 2011

Excuse my breakdown please...

So...

Sunday I had to drive into the big city to go visit someone.


Usually Mr. Jenny goes along as my chauffeur, but since I know how hard Mr. Jenny has been working and because I am such a sweet and wonderful wife, I suggested he stay home and enjoy a day filled with relaxation.

He agreed to my plan.

And quite quickly, I might add.

"Okay, I'll stay home, but let me fill the car up with gas before you go."

I agreed to his plan.

And quite quickly, I might add.

If you live in a big city you know what the roads are like...lots of lanes...lots of traffic.

There I was...driving west and listening to Car Talk on the radio. I can't help myself, those guys just crack me up.

As I approached a six-lanes-in-one-direction tunnel, the car did a little lug-down thing (Yes, huh, that is a perfectly good car trouble description!). I turned off the radio and slowed down. It didn't happen again so I continued into the tunnel.

Suddenly the car started to sputter. I was in the middle lane. Acccckkkk!

My speed dropped dramatically and amidst much honking I limped across three lanes of traffic only to find there was no berm.

The car stalled out and I turned my blinkers on. The other drivers were obviously offended by my blinkers, because they continued to blare their horns at me as they passed.

I started the car and managed to drive a few more feet toward the exit, before the car stalled out again.

At this point I was seriously afraid for my life. Drivers on these freeways are crazy. I started, lurched and stalled myself almost up to a major exit and halfway onto a gravel berm before the car refused to go any further.


Darn.

Darn, darn, darn.

I called Mr. Jenny. I said, "Get in your car and start driving toward the big city - NOW! Call me on your cell when you're on the way!" Mr.Jenny said, "Huh?" The reason he said "Huh?" is because I have laryngitis and can barely speak. I repeated myself several more times, hung up on him and then I dug around in my wallet to find my Triple A card.

All the while, vehicles were whizzing by blaring their horns at me.

I called Triple A and told the lady I needed help IMMEDIATELY. She said, "Huh?" It took repeating myself about five times before she could understand me. The whole time I was trying to make my voice loud enough to be heard, there was another cell phone ringing somewhere in the car. It was Mr. Jenny's. He had left his phone in the console after he went to fill the car up with gas. He said, "I can't leave, I don't know where you are."

I whispered as loudly as I could until he could finally understand where I had broken down.

With me so far?

Okay. Now understand that I live in a desert. I had been driving west in the early afternoon. It is a bazillion degrees outside. And the car won't start so there's no air conditioning. I am on a berm with no place to go and no possibility of shade and the sun is blazing into my car.

I have to pee.

I am freaking out.

I start freaking out even more when a guy on a cell phone driving a big truck almost rear ends me.

I call 9-1-1.

I try to tell the nice lady on the phone that I am in a trouble. She can't understand me. She keeps saying, "Give the phone to someone else in the car, I can't understand you." I say "There is nobody else in the car...I need help, please!" Finally she understands me and tells me to stay in the vehicle and she will dispatch a patrol car to help me. I tell her that the car is turning into an oven. "I understand, we'll send help as soon as we can!"

By this time I am not only freaking out but I actually think I am verging on heat stroke. And not in a good way.

It is now like a broiler in the car. I pour some of my drinking water over my head. It doesn't really help. It now feels like I am sitting in a sauna waiting to be rear-ended and unable to call for help because of my laryngitis.

I am annoyed.

A slight understatement.

And I still have to pee.

Geez.

Finally, finally I see Mr. Jenny pull up behind me. He parks a few feet back and puts his blinkers on. He comes running up to the car. "Quick, go get in the air conditioning."

I try to tell him he can't park there because we'll both be rear ended, but he can't understand me.

Then the police pull up and turn their flashers on, so I get in the air conditioned car and about swoon with relief. My face is beet red. I feel like I am on fire. And not in a good way.


Geez.

The tow truck pulls up. The big, burly guy tells Mr. Jenny, "I can't tow you from here. You'll all have to back up so we can push the car back."

Geez.

Finally the car is loaded. "You need to follow me back to the repair shop," the big burly guy says.

By now several hours have elapsed. I tell Mr. Jenny, "I have to be in the big city before 4 pm!" Mr. Jenny says, "Well, I don't think it's gonna happen."

I say, 'Okay', but I think, 'We'll see about that'!

So we drive all the way back past where we live and another 10 miles East to get to the repair shop. Mr. Jenny finally stops to let me ... ummm.... tinkle... and we wait for the big, burly tow truck driver who, when he finally gets there, wants to tell us some long story about my trouble ticket having the numbers '666' in it.

Geez.

Finally the car is unloaded.

I tell Mr. Jenny, "I'm dropping you at home and going to the big city before 4."

And he says, "No. You look horrible (hmmm...what's up with that anyway?) and you look sick from the heat and you are still bright red. I'll drive you."

It was a little after 3.

Geez.

So we finally got to the big city with 20 minutes to spare. And I did my visiting thing. Which didn't work out super well because the person I was visiting kept saying, "Huh? I can't understand you."

Sigh...

And the moral of this story is...

Heck. I don't know.

I've just been through a major trauma here. I can't possibly be expected to think up story morals.

Geez.

Sigh...

post signature

45 comments:

Willoughby said...

Ugh! What a horrible experience! I hope you're feeling better today!

PⒿ @ $ € € ₦$ ₣®0₥... said...

Oh my gosh! How absolutely horrifying! I'm glad you called 911. I'm not sure I would've thought to do that. So glad you're okay. Are you? Really? I know where you were going. Did you and Steve get there?

Ahem...here's my theory: If you burned your candle in the middle, it would burn in four directions. That would save time. Mwhahaha!

Wanderer said...

Goodness! I'm so glad it turned out okay. I mean it could have been so much worse. Hope your larygitis clears up so people can understand you...then, while you're taking it easy today to recover from the trauma, you can call for lots of cool drinks and maybe someone to fan you! Take care! Heat can do a number on a body...but what do I know? I'm from PA! :)

Paula ~ castleandcottagesigns said...

Yikes that sounds traumatic Jenny! The moral of the story I think is never let your husband rest when he could be your chaffeur!! He can rest later!
Glad you're okay:)

JDaniel4's Mom said...

What a mess! It must have been terrible to not be understood.

Cheryl said...

I have seen those roadways and holy shiitake! You're lucky that wasn't in Boston because well, y'know, dead is dead.

The moral of the story is clearly don't go visiting anyone in the city. Ever.

J. Kwiatkowski-Schuler said...

Oh dear! Jenny! I'm so glad you are all right. It's sad but predictable that no one stopped to see if you needed help.

Margaret (Peggy or Peg too) said...

what a day! I am glad you are okay though. how's the car? :-)

Allie said...

<<<<< GIANT HUG >>>>>

Strange said...

Oh my goodness! I'm so glad you are alright! That sounds like quite the nightmare!

Jo said...

Great-time-a-day,and OMG!...glad you are OK.
~JO

Nonna Beach said...

OMGosh Jenny !

Why the heck does it always happen to us instead of our guys??? Good thing he didn't come with you...he became your Hero, bet he loved that, in spite of all the mess involved !!!
Happy it all turned out o.k.
BTW, my Hubs hs a cell phone but always leaves it somewhere other than with him...what's up with that ?

auntie12 said...

None of which, is good for your health. Yikes!

Sure hope that "visiting thing" was life or death. Getting back in car, after all that! yikes!!! It better have been really necessary.

Bossy Betty said...

So sorry to hear about this! Talk about major stress! Hope you have today to recover.

Theresa said...

WOW, I am happy to know that you made it out of this situation without getting hurt! I am also glad that you made it to the big city in time to whisper:)

Have a blessed day, hope the car gets fixed and without too much expense!

HUGS!

Linda @ A La Carte said...

Oh Jenny that is traumatic for sure. I drive through Atlanta and if I broke down I would be like you, roasting and scared to death that someone would rear end me! Not being able to talk adds a whole new level of terror to the mix. Glad it all worked out but rest now and don't think about driving to the city again anytime soon!

Pondside said...

What a terrible experience - the breakdown and then the heat. I never thought about that, but it is as dangerous as the cold (I have a similar breakdown story, but at -40 in northern Alberta). Thank heavens for your Mr Jenny and 911! I think you should move up to the cooler and wetter Pacific Northwest!

Busy Bee Suz said...

What a scary scary situation...the cars and the heat. I am so sorry Jenny. I am glad that your knight in shining armor was able to rescue you before anything really bad happened.
I hope you are resting up today. in the a/c.
xoxoxo

Rocky Mountain Woman said...

geez! I'm glad you made it! I had a similar experience a few years back with a trailer full of horses..

double geez!!!

Thank goodness for Mr. Jenny!

xxoo,

RMW

"Alone again.... naturally!" said...

God, that sounds like a horrific experience! I sure hope you are feeling better...take care of yourself!

Madge said...

Yikes!!! There's nothing worse than being stuck in a hot car that you can't excape from!!! Glad you made it through ok.

Judie said...

How do you manage to get yourself in these jams? If you had come to the party and stayed over, none of that would have happaned!! Lizzie loved her card, though!!

Sue said...

This sounds terrible!!!

I would have had heat stroke for sure. And I can't believe you had laryngitis to boot so you couldn't even make yourself heard.

Unreal. And thank heaven you are out of THAT mess.

Mr. Jenny to the rescue. What a good guy.

=)

Wanda..... said...

The moral of the story is...Stay out of Big Cities, especially on Hot days!

Ms. A said...

OH.MY! Just reading this almost leaves me too traumatized to respond, imagining how this would have effected me. One big difference... I would never have been brave enough to drive myself to the big city, but even with someone else, this would have done me in.

La said...

Oh Jenny, you poor thing. It sounds like a horrendous ordeal. I'm glad your knight in shining armour (Mr. Jenny not the burly tow guy) came to your aid.

Nonna Beach said...

Dearest Jenny,
PLEASE, now that you have been saved from an awful situation, wouldn't it be nice to grant a higher word count this coming Saturday ??? ( Just read my comments this week and you'll know why I'm begging again...have pity, oh, great one, a dam is about to burst in this poor writer's brain )

Sue (Someone's Mom) said...

Okay...you know those panic attacks of mine that I've probably mentioned? The ones that keep me from driving anywhere but my own little town? Well, I just had one reading your post. Seriously, this is my worst nightmare...I knew it was a good idea not to drive alone out in the big world and this is exactly why. Heat and car trouble...I'm so stressed I have to pace around my house now.

Rocky Mountain Woman said...

So, I had to come back and say one more thing...

No one I know gets in more jams than you do and no one I know can tell a story with anywhere near the charm you do!



xxoo,

RMW

Country Dreaming said...

Now that is a story! I'm glad that both of you are ok. What a scary situation!!

Get some rest--hope you get your voice soon.

Melinda

5thsister said...

Wow! So scary. I am praising God above you are okay!

Sorry your visit didn't go well. It would have been so easy to just forget about it after the trauma you went through. But you, of true and gentle heart, were where you needed to be, whether or not you were understood.

Jo said...

awwwwe ... that's not a good thing at all ... you need to rest and get your "cool" on ... or better yet, have a mojito, but go out for it, because i kinda get the feeling that you are not the mojito making type!

Dazee Dreamer said...

oh good lord. that was just an awful story. The sad thing is, I'm sitting her trying to think of things you could have done that would have totally had the other motorists laughing their butts off. I need help. :)

Holly said...

So... glad you are okay. My guess is hubby won't let you go into the city by yourself again and you won't want to.

gayle said...

I know I would have had a hert attack or stroke!! It's a wonder you didn't!!

The moral of the story is next time your husband should drive you!:)

Betty (picture circa 1951) said...

OMG...my worst fear happened to you. Except Houston doesn't have a tunnel. We just have lots of freeways with lots of lanes and everyone drives like it's still the wild west and they're on horseback. Thank goodness you were OK. I'm sure every news story you've ever heard where the broken down car was hit by a drunk driver or someone speeding popped into your head. I'd be a little shook up too!

Ames said...

Good grief woman, I hate those kind of perdicaments. That is trauma, trauma, trauma for sure! So so glad it all worked out and you didn't have a stroke or get rear ended!!

I hope when you got home you stripped down nekked and streaked to the pool where you did a belly buster and skinny dipped. You poor thing, what's up with the laryngitis anyway?....

And what was wrong with that car? Did Mr. Jenny have a brain fart and forget to gas it up?....

And one last thing...men and their phones. I don't know why I even bother to pay for the hubby to have one, it's never on and he never has it with him....

Sigh.

Hugs to you dear friend! I hope you did some major chillaxin'!~Ames ♥

august2011 said...

That's what nightmares are made of....

siggiofmaine said...

Thank goodness you are okay...the heat can be deadly if the other drivers aren't/in Boston there is no mercy/that's were I was a week ago...someone wrote that it was too bad no one stopped to see if you were ok...shame on all the other drivers that passed by you...and thank goodness for Mr Jenny saving you.
Moral of your story:
"no good deed goes unpunished"

Take care of yourself.

☮ ♥ Siggi in Downeast Maine

bj said...

O, Jenny, you just tickle the pee out of me. :)

Terra said...

Way too much to handle, I would have lost it! You were very brave considering. YUCK I am so sorry!

aprons & Old lace said...

What a terrible, crazy day! I hope this week is bringin' better days for you!!

aprons and old lace

Gattina said...

I think you should move over here, no heat you can only get stuck in mud and drowned in rain if the car gives up it's soul ! I just wonder what Mr. G would have done, probably send me to hell !

H said...

You make it sound funny, but that was a seriously nasty position to be in. So glad you are ok!

Jennifer said...

I'm glad you are okay, but I definitely laughed really hard. Especially when you said you had to pee....