This post is only for semi-blind people, like me.
People who would walk into the wall if they didn't have their contacts or glasses on.
People who wear coke bottom bottle glasses. But you will only understand this post if you are like this, too.
Then you might, possibly, excuse the fact that I am an idiot.
I've been wearing contact lenses for 46 years. It's true. I got them when I was 8 years old. A horrific experience involving lots of screaming, crying, and restraint. And that was just what my Mother did. It was worse for me. In fact, it was terrifying. And I am still traumatized when I go to the eye doctor.
Yesterday I was putting my contacts in when the phone rang...so I answered it, chatted awhile and then started walking down the hall.
My sight seemed really weird, though, and as I walked toward my office I realized my vision was totally blurred in my left eye.
We have a friend that just had a stroke. Part of the stroke manifested itself in blurred vision.
And that's exactly what I thought.
Mr. Jenny came running.
"Oh no, oh no!" I screamed. "I think I've had a stroke! My vision is all blurred in my left eye!"
Mr. Jenny looked panicked.
He helped me back to our room and I laid down on the bed.
He asked me to smile...which is what you are supposed to instruct a stroke victim to do.
I yelled at him! "I can't smile!" I shouted dramatically, "I am going blind in my left eye!"
I told him we should call 911, but first he should get me an aspirin. I thought I remembered reading somewhere that you should take one.
He went running into the bathroom.
And came back a few seconds later without it!
"Ahem!" he said in a stern voice.
"Ahem what?" I cried. "Where is my aspirin? I am going to die here!"
And he held out my contact case with the left lense still firmly tucked inside.
I tried telling him it was an exercise in preparedness...so we would both be ready in case one of us actually DID have a stroke.
He didn't buy it.
I think he glared at me...but I'm not totally sure because I still couldn't see out of my left eye.
He went back to his office.
And left me alone.
In my perilous health condition.
And I was seriously embarrassed.
So I just put my left contact lense in and pretended the whole ridiculous mess had never happened in the first place.
But I still feel like a moron because I realized I didn't know how to really tell if someone was actually having a stroke. For real. So I looked it up. And it said if you suspect someone has had a stroke to remember the acronym FAST.
F ace - check for numbness or weakness by asking the person to smile. If the person can't or one side of the face droops, it may mean stroke.
A rms - Ask the person to raise both arms. If one drifts down or can't be raised, it may mean stroke.
S peech - Ask the person to repeat a simple sentence. If it is slurred or hard to understand or the person has trouble remembering the words to repeat, it may mean stroke.
T ime - Get help immediately if you or someone else experiences any of these signs. Call 911 or get the person to the hospital. Time is the most important factor.
So I wanted to share this information with you.
And I figured even if you have 20/20 vision you might read this whole post anyway to see what strange tangent I was off on.
And then you might be better prepared, too, if you ever think someone is having a stroke! Just remember the phrase FAST! And remember it fast! Because speed is important with a stroke.
Unless it's me. And then before you do the FAST thing, ask me if I remembered to put both my contacts in.
And if didn't, please feel free to just hit me in the head.
And don't be doing your "Oh, poor Mr. Jenny thing!" He likes it when I keep him on his toes like this. I know he does. Sure, he doesn't come out and say it but I can tell by the glazed look in his eyes as he is pulling his hair out! So there!
P.S. I am not making light of stroke. I think the possibility is so frightening. But I personally always learn things better when there is humor attached to the lesson and the missing contact seemed to just tie in with the whole subject.