Monday, May 24, 2010

Lewis Carroll said...

"Sometimes I've believed as many as six impossible things before breakfast."

And I totally get Mr. Carroll's point of view here.

I get a lot of e-mails asking me this recurrent question after particularly strange blog posts..."how do you think of these things?"

And to answer that question I thought I would just tell you a little, true story.

And then perhaps you will understand the curse of having an overactive imagination without an on/off switch.

So...

On Saturday we were getting ready to go to a soccer game. I was scurrying around trying to get snacks packed for the Grands, sneaking into my office to answer another e-mail or two, finding sunscreen...you know the drill.

And our oldest daughter called.

"Mom," she said in a subdued and solemn voice, "I need to talk to you...it's important."

Daughter Nancy usually has a perky happy voice and I was immediately concerned BUT Mr. Jenny was yelling at the other end of the house, "we're late, let's go!" AND our weiner dog, Oskar, was barking at an ominous leaf in the neighbors front yard AND I still needed to find time to tinkle before I ran out the door.

Oops! TMI? Sorry. I was just setting the stage here for the whole overactive imagination experience. So I told her I'd call her back and raced out to the car to save my marriage.

When I got in the car I told Mr. Jenny, "Nancy called and said she has something important to talk to me about. Her voice was all serious and everything!"

He raised his caterpillar-y eyebrow and said, "ohhh?..."

So I tried to call her back on her house phone. It rang and it rang and it rang! Next I called her cellphone. And it rang and it rang and it rang! And then I called our son-in-laws cellphone and it rang and it rang and it rang!

"I wonder what's wrong?" I said to Mr. Jenny.

"I dunno," he replied, "But I'm sure it's nothing."

I tried a few more times. Ring, Ring. No answer.

"Oh no!" I said. "Something is wrong. Maybe Mr. Nancy was in an accident."

I continued to try.

"Maybe she's sick and going to the emergency room! Maybe something happened to her dog, Belle!"

Ring, Ring. No answer.

"Maybe she's mad at me and wants to tell me never to bother her again....what do you think I did? Maybe I hurt her feelings when we were at her house for my birthday!"

Mr. Jenny said "I'm sure it's nothing. And your birthday was almost a month ago."

Ring, Ring. No answer.

"Well you know she was having dinner with her Dad (my ex) last night. I wonder if something is wrong with him. Maybe he has cancer or something. Oh no! Or maybe he told her something about me that she wants to talk about. What am I going to tell her?"

Mr. Jenny just continued to ignore me.

Ring, Ring. No answer.

"Maybe she's mad because I told her I was going to order a lime green girl kayak even though she said she wanted one and that I couldn't get that color! Maybe she thought I was serious! I will totally order a pink one...I just hate her to be mad at me!"

Mr. Jenny just continued to ignore me.

Ring, Ring. And finally, finally she picked up her phone!

"OMG, Nancy!" I screamed into the cellphone, "Are you OK! What's wrong?!?!"

Nancy hesitated a moment and then said "Mom, you know your baking powder biscuit recipe? Mine didn't raise very much and had little brown dots all over the top..."
WHAT?

"Is that the important thing you called about?" I calmly asked Nancy.

"Well, yea, Mom, they just aren't right. Can you talk me through this?"

Mr. Jenny was studiously avoiding eye contact with me.

For the next three or four minutes I talked her through the whole biscuit making process and then she hung up with a "Love ya, Mom, thanks!"

Love ya Mom? Thanks? What kind of goodbye is that from a girl that aged me 10 years in 15 minutes?

A IMPORTANT problem with baking powder biscuits? Seriously.

Mr. Jenny looked at me and raised his eyebrows. "Well, at least she didn't think the biscuits needed to go to the Emergency Room!"

Grrr.....

Grrr.....

Hmmm...

Obviously, he cannot appreciate the anguish I go through on a daily basis being afflicted with OAID.

And yes. OverActiveImaginationDisorder is so a disease. I know it is. I'm sure it is.

Darn...or maybe I just imagined it.

Anyway.

That's how I think of these things.

Being Off On my Tangent is not all about the glamour and fame, my friends.

There is a lot of pain and anguish involved, too.

Sigh...

post signature

55 comments:

Sue said...

I believe I suffer from this syndrome as well. I have a feeling Mr. Jenny and my husband would have a good time comparing notes...

Really funny, Jenny.

=)

Viki said...

I have OAID too and it's just terrible. That's why I take medication now LOL.

laterg8r said...

i have those thoughts too - i call them tradgedy thoughts. like when you are suddenly following an ambulance and it keeps going the way you are to your sister's house and you suddenly start thinking she's dead LOL :D

Lorrie said...

Oh my, can I ever relate! When we were first married and my husband was late coming home, I imagined all kinds of horrible things, and even went so far as to have his funeral planned!
Sometimes, I have to tell myself to JUST STOP!
But it usually doesn't work. So I pray. Or sing. Or cry.

Nancy's Notes said...

Jenny, Jenny, Jenny! Oh I must have that too! No doubt about it!

Oh my, I am sure your mind was working way overtime regarding Nancy's call! Bless your heart!

Have a great day Jenny!

Nancy

Jo said...

It's so good to know that i am not the only one ... thank goodness you were brave enough to tell us all!!!

Lindsay said...

hehehehehehhehe this was funny.. only because I totally do this.. not w/ everything just when someone says there is something important or that they need to talk to me. Glad everything was okay.. did the biscuits turn out?

Nadeen said...

Oh shucks, I got done sitting in the back seat as you two drove to the game and listened to your animated imagination spill all over Mr. Jenny. And then I watched Mr. Jenny give you that 'sigh' with his twinkling eyes and his calm responses only got your vivid and imaginative responses.

Bwahahahaa (AND COME ON....YOU KNOW IT WAS HUGE RELIEF THAT IT WAS ONLY BAKING POWDER BISCUTS, RIGHT?) We've all been there.

And then Mr. Jenny giggled.

Marlene said...

*snort*!!!!!!

Lydia Kang said...

After that build up, how could I not expect a horrible disaster! We all have a little bit of OAID!

Cheryl D. said...

Hilarious as always! Thanks much for the Monday morning laugh.

Aging Mommy said...

I think in this case it was overactive imagination combined with mother love. I was talking to my father recently about the fact that as I am now 46 and live 5,000 miles away calling me just because my husband is away on a trip for ten days to see if I am alright really isn't necessary. He told me "you never stop worrying about your children, whether they are 6, 16 or 46....."

Bumpkin on a Swing said...

What a way to start my week, Jenny Mac, and your over active imagination was the icing on the cake for me today!

Cheryl said...

I used to be like that. Now I blog instead.

Anita said...

It takes a lot of effort to "not go there." :)

Busy Bee Suz said...

I have this same disease...but I find it very humorous when others are afflicted with it.
With me? Not so funny.

Life is good! said...

i have that disease also and it has kept me awake many a night. i hate when my kids call and i can't get to the phone, i call them right back just a few seconds later and no answer. they have died, been in car crashes, been in jail,etc, etc many times in my mind! just answer the phone when i call you back dammit!

Becca's Dirt said...

I take meds now for my disorder. You are so funny Jenny.

Lourie said...

I would so totally do this. I would be a wreck. My heart would be in my throat and my thoughts would be going a million miles an hour. And I wonder why my daughter is such a worrier. Well, not really.

Tracy said...

It is ok it is called being a Mummie

mbkatc230 said...

I'm happy to know that I'm not the only worry wart in the bunch! I know that I would have gone off in all of the same directions you did, and then some! Glad it was just a biscuit emergency :) Kathy

Susan Fields said...

I absolutely hate when someone calls me up and says "I need to talk to you," in a solemn voice. My OAID totally kicks in! I wish they'd just spit it out without the preamble, it's too hard on my poor heart. :(

Ms. Anthropy said...

Kids! (I'm the same way)

Beth said...

Another sufferer here in Oklahoma! And why is that those of us so afflicted invariably marry eye rollers? It's just not right!

Shannon said...

Been there, done that! I think we all have some OAID...lol..thanks Jenny for making me smile and not feel so bad about my OAID...

Sami said...

Overactive? No way! You're just ... uhm... thorough, that's all!

In today's world of foreclosures, unemployment, and general scariness and bad juju, imagination seems to be stuffed underneath all the worries and left completely out of the picture. It's a breath of fresh air to see it's still out there! :)

Linda said...

Jenny that is me! My son in law called and left me a message to call him and before I could connect with him I just knew something was wrong with my daughter and I was having heart palpitations and all they wanted was a confirmation of a date. Yikes, that's all and I was ready to drive to her house right then....sigh...is it a MOM thing???

5thsister said...

Oh dear Jenny! Why is it we do this to ourselves! I am always jumping to conclusions and thinking the worst...

Sandy Shin said...

What a brilliant built-up! Overactive imagination is something I think many writers are saddled with -- it's both a blessing and a curse sometimes. :)

Aunt Amelia's Attic said...

-sigh- I too suffer from OAID.
Although I never had a name for it. Such an official-disease-sounding name too!

Thank you.

Thank you from the bottom of my heart.

Thank you from all we fellow OAID suffers!

Now, we have a name for our *IT*!

>^_^<

cjschlottman said...

Ditto what Cheryl said. I used to be that way, then life slapped me in the face and I started blogging. Maybe you'll grow out of it! PS: I have a dog named Belle, and she should have been a daschound . She's the biggest wiener in the world!

Deb said...

Oh Jenny....I suffer from that too....I get all worked trying to figure out what the problem might be...I look at all the worse case scenerios first...thankgoodness I am usually wrong...and am relieved that none of my imaganation ideas were correct...

Victoria Dixon said...

And here I always assumed I was just paranoid! What a relief! LOL And yes, you DID make me laugh out loud. That right there is reason to follow!

Dee said...

I think you are just a natural born comedian and author who has a fun family that gives you lots of good material.:)

Jeanie said...

Well, it sound like OAID is a common disorder We are just lucky that you have the talent to turn it into something good to read.

Pondside said...

Oh dear, Jenny - there's no cure for OAID. You're DOOMED!

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Some of the other sons of success are PERSEVERENCE, HONESTY, THOROUGHNESS, FORESIGHT, ENTHUSIASM, and COOPERATION;
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The baby is OPPORTUNITY.

Brenda said...

LOL! My youngest daughter calls me daily. If I do not get that daily call I sit and wonder do I call her? Is there a problem? Bad day at work? Should I call or just let her call me as always? So you see I think it is quite a catching disease. I might have to take a pill for it. Cute post. As always I am smiling at your plights in life. I hope that it is ok?

Jenn@ You know... that blog? said...

Woohoo, I can comment now! You rock, Jenny!!

I would have been a little ticked with my daughter if she'd freaked me out like that... and I really really love the OAID thing. It's totally real. ;)

Martha's Favorites said...

Jenny: I was reading your post and I saw myself in every sentence. Thank you for putting it into words. Did anyone tell you today you are wonderful? Consider it done! Blessings, Martha

Vicki said...

Is that all??? haha, funny how they never seem to realize what they do to us. And it only changes tone as they age. Hang in there (o:
And keep writing...

Chatty Crone said...

Oh my goodness I do that all the time - I can make up a story about anything and anyone. Sandie

Rebecca S. said...

Hi Jenny,
Thanks for joining my blog! I sure enjoyed your post here, and laughed heartily over the baking powder biscuit recipe emergency. At least next time she leaves such an alarming message you'll be able to consider a moment before going into a spell of OAID!!!

Rustique Gal said...

Jenny, I feel your pain, seriously! I just don't have the energy to worry as much as you do! Take care, Dear!
Sherry

Mimi said...

HI!!!YOU ARE A MOM that is the disorder!!!!
I do the same darn thing!!!!!
We are so funny sometimes, I let me imagination run wild sometimes to just to see where it might go!!!!
have a fun week
hugs,
jamie

jfb57 said...

You have started my day with a smile Jenny!
Thank you!

Julie Schuler said...

That's a great story! Mom's always have the important information. I think I do that to my mom, too.
And I love that Alice quote!

Maggie B said...

Ask Mr B he'll tell you I am OAID afflicted too, but someone has to worry about these things right?
Loved this post, you always make me smile.
Thanks for brightening my day even more.
~Maggie~

Theresa said...

You are a bit looney:) I laughed my head off! My family goes nuts when they can't get me on the phone... so if I am gonna be away from the phone or somewhere without a signal, I let them know! Happy it was just about the biscuits:) Have a blessed day dear Jenny! HUGS!

My name is PJ. said...

I can totally hear your voice saying all those things, Matlock! It's part of your charm.

And it's part of what makes your writing so wonderful to read!

I'm glad old dogs can't be taught new tricks. MWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Terra said...

I totally suffer from OAID with you and I was panicking as I read and the phone was ringing in my head and I was wondering if Nancy was ok and then Mr. J's comment about the biscuits and the ER had me rolling off my kitchen stool and I realized that a little sensible humor is all we need sometimes to bring us back down to earth. Whenever the phone rings and it is one of the schools my mind goes into overtime and I almost don't even hear them say "so and so is fine this is about...."

Having OAID also supports my Overuse of sticky notes disease...because as my mind goes into overtime my hand takes notes...and I have them everywhere waiting for me to come back to them and do something with those OAID thoughts I had...so if you find a cure for OAID maybe we start addressing OSND and perhaps I will have some wall space left around here...

But then I wouldn't be the same and I kind of like me

Wanda said...

Jenny, I am soooo sorry for the pain and anquish your OAID causes you...but I love the results of your Tangents!

♥...Wanda

Dolly said...

Hi Jenny.... it looks like you are not alone here!
I have OAID too!
I think it comes with having children....another wonderful we moms get!

Thanks for sharing and making us all feel like we are not alone here!

Hugz, Dolly

Melinda Cornish said...

I live this way....I totally get it.....don just rolls his eyes....

Flat Creek Farm said...

OAID? Me too!! But then again, that's how wonderful things can start. Jenny, you always start my day with a smile!! -Tammy