Thursday, July 15, 2010

Zen, in pursuit of....

You might not know this about me, but I am a "new age woman".

It's true.

How do I know this?

I know this because not only am I chicken-sitting for fun and not profit I am now, at great personal peril, attending yoga classes.

Yes, I said YOGA!

And, Yes, fluffy people can attend yoga, too!

I have other new age stuff to share but since I am all about keeping my posts short and sweet...

Huh?

Were you snorting at that?

Were you actually snorting at me over the short and sweet thing?

Gee whiz.

All things are relative.

It's not like I share "War and Peace volume tomes with you each day on my blog, and..."

Gaaahhhh...!!!!!

What was I talking about?

Oh yea, Zen, in pursuit of...

So my naturopath (see? New Age Woman! I told you!) and a lot of the books I read say yoga is the best way to achieve inner zen and peaceful spiritual harmony.

And, of course, I've been hearing this for years now...

But what finally got me motivated to attending yoga was something deeper. Something even more spiritual.

Bat wings!

You know bat wings, right? Those things that dangle below your conceptual-bicep area and continue to wave long after you have lowered your hand!

There is this woman in WW's who has lost mega-weight...like 100 pounds...and she looks fantastic! Really firm and tight. There is this other woman who has lost 100 pounds who looks like .... ummm.... the saggy baggy skinny elephant. (Sssshhhh...Don't tell her I said that, OK!)

The skinny little firm and tight woman attended yoga throughout her weight loss journey.

The saggy, baggy skinny elephant woman (who I more closely relate to at this time) did not!

Now, I ask you.

If you can achieve ZEN and get rid of bat wings AND lose the family resemblance to the saggy baggy elephant wouldn't you do it?

I feel a little bad for deceiving my naturopath who now thinks I am on the road to enlightment. She even hugged me and I felt kinda/sorta bad that she thought I was taking the high road to spiritual growth when really I am just being shallow in pursuit of ridding myself of bat wings and saggy baggy!

I will tell you all about being the only person in a yoga class filled with women who can sit cross-legged on the floor without screaming another day. I am still fairly traumatized by the whole spandex yoga bodies that inhabit the class and the fact that I am the only one embarrassing myself by screaming out "Uncle" during many of the movements.

For now, though, I will leave you in pursuit of Zen since I have a yoga class at 11:30 this morning. Please pray for me.

Sigh...

This post is linked to Alphabe-Thursday's letter Z. Please don't zzzzzzz.... visit the rest of the links today by clicking here!

post signature

66 comments:

Kim @ Savvy Southern Style said...

Wow, you are really doing the yoga thing. I am sure the others in class love you trying and grunting and probably making the class more fun. My mom use to do yoga and loved it until her hip gave out with age. She had hip replacement surgery last year and can never do yoga again. Oh well, she is 77 anyway.

Good luck with your classes!

Nora Johnson said...

Hi Jenny!

We've all had a zuper time thiz week! And looking forward to Alphabe-Thursday Zoup Day next week!

So pleased too that you're enjoying my novel, The De Clerambault Code - all profits to my favorite charity, Cudeca.

Zee you next time!

XOXO LOLA:)

Terra said...

Now I have a visual of an elephant doing yoga. Kind of making me giggle and giggles are good. I hope you find your inner balance and lose your bat wings! Kind of like hide and seek

Christy said...

just watch out for when they get you in the "release" position...you don't want to be behind someone who appears to eat lots of meat...trust me on that one! otherwise..have fun and may the zen be with you!

Julie Schuler said...

I would love to take a yoga class. My mom says she is getting the boys a Wii for Christmas, so I'm going to get the yoga accessories! I tried to do yoga with a DVD in the living room, but the boys climb on me like I'm a jungle gym.

Country Wings in Phoenix said...

Good Morning Jenny Sweetie...
Now I have already told you about my yoga attempt, and rolling out of the lotus position once was enough for me.

You my sweet can do that yoga for both of us. I am getting back on the straight and narrow of the treadmill. Squueze those butt cheeks and keep on walking. That is the journey for me sweetie.

I found a couple of more recipes that I have marked. Oooh I can't wait to be free. Stop by and let me make you smile today.

Lots of love gitl, Sherry

Lourie said...

I tried yoga like 6 years ago...maybe more. And Jenny, I couldn't do hardly any of it! My poor arthritic knees were screaming at me. I know, I am too young...but I have had arthritis in places since I was 17. My knees started going south when I hit 30. *sigh* So I feel your pain. No spandex for this lady either. I am screaming UNCLE right along with you!

Kari said...

My psychologist begs me to do Yoga. I keep telling her what would I do without all the inner rage and being wound up like a time bomb....cough, ahem.... I kid...............:)Anyway I wish I could take Yoga! My work schedule makes it almost impossible. Weird hours nothing ever set in stone. Hey did you join Weight Watchers? I've been thinking about doing that too. Forty is hitting me HARD (in the butt). You like it?

Cheryl said...

I taught yoga for 6 years. If you want some tips on how NOT to hurt yourself in your quest, just give a shout. If your teacher doesn't offer modifications or warnings regarding certain medical conditions I have 3 words for you: RUN LIKE HELL! Call me. We'll talk.

"Alone again.... naturally!" said...

Haahaa, bat wings, I have never heard them called that, but I never knew that yoga plus weight loss could ever get rid of them....I am soooo in!! Tried yoga once, couldn't keep up at all, but it wasn't really a beginners beginner class, so to speak. I wish I had screamed UNCLE, maybe the instructor would have gottent the hint!! Good (and bendy) vibes your way Jenny!!

JDaniel4's Mom said...

I couldn't do many of the moves when I took yoga. I could do the down dog, but I couldn't do the tree poses at all.

I hope class went well today!

Busy Bee Suz said...

Good for you Jenny.
I always wanted to try yoga, but they do it barefoot...I can't do anything barefoot. bad feet.
I hate my bat wings...and I know they are only going to get more batty.

Tina said...

I heart yoga. I'd always been curious to try it, and YogaGirl aka my sister-in-law swears by it. So when we got the Wii fit for Christmas, I jumped right in. It was a great fit right from the beginning. And I gotta tell you, the praise and encouragement your virtual instructor gives you is really good. AND they graph your moves, so you can see where you're off balance, and give you points. The mathematical, over-achieving, perfectionist loves all that quantitative crap. And all in the privacy of my own living room.

RNSANE said...

You are so good to do all this...but I read somewhere about yoga NOT being good for everyone and I think I was one of those. I can't even remember the reason but, at the time, I fit it. Of course, I COULD be walking and I seldom do that. My fingers do run over the keyboard, however ( I wonder how many calories I burn at this ). I am proud of you, though, and I hope you reach nirvana or whatever.

Sue said...

At a friend's urging, I'm about to take up yoga, too. Your post has validated my decision, which terrifies me.

Thanks, I guess.

=)

Sue (Someone's Mom) said...

You had me at "bat wings"! Maybe I should check out the Yoga on the Wii after all.

Viki said...

Good for you that your taking yoga. I've been wanting to do it for years. Let me know if you think it's worth it. Great Z post. Thanks for Alphabe-Thursday, it's been a blast.

maggie said...

Jenny, I hear there are many roads to spiritual enlightenment. Bat wings is a new one on me but whatever gets you to open that door.
I remember sitting talking with someone in an animated way a few years back and my arms were really jiggling--what a shocker it was, I was just so surprised-that happens to old women and I didn't consider myself old. Since that rude awakening I do some weights that keep the bat wings to a flutter.
Wishes for a great weekend.

Jennifer said...

Three words: Yoga scares me.

Linda @ A La Carte said...

Oh Enlightened One! TELL me how you like YOGA? Can 'fluffy' people really do it? and survive?

Short and Sweet said...

Great post and thanks for telling me more about yoga. Every time I hear someone talk about it, they have nothing but praise for the way yoga makes them feel. I might even try it!

Sami said...

Yoga is awesome! I can't wait until I start working again and can get back to regular classes. It is great for focusing and flexibility and etc. etc.

I had that book when I was a wee Sami... hah!

Good luck & keep us posted!!

LemonyRenee' said...

I'm telling you, if someone who start a "yoga for fluffies," they would make millions -- off me alone. I would love to take up yoga, but there is no way on earth I am going in there among those . . . yoga types. And, yes, I have a book: Yoga for Wimps. I'm scared of it.

Christy said...

Wow Jenny that is a great portrait of you at the top of the post - you must be a prodigy!

Tracy said...

The only thing begining with YOG that I do is yogi bear and yogurt good for you

Jess Herbig said...

Bat wings is such a descriptive phrase! :) I immediately poked my chubby underarms. Just to compare, you know.

Rocky Mountain Woman said...

I love yoga! It's something I do just for myself and I look forward to just kind of being quiet and not worrying about anything. The best part is at the end when you just lie there....

AWWWW.....

mbkatc230 said...

Let me know how that works out Jenny. Bat Wings - now that is funny. My friends and I call them "tharms" - you know, upper arms the size that our thighs USED to be lol. I can't believe it's been 26 weeks! Looking forward to Alphabet Soup next week! Hugs, Kat

Aging Mommy said...

I did yoga for about 18 months and oh boy, it makes a real difference to those bat wings, not to mention overall muscle strength and posture (always my weakness). I have not been going for a while now but plan on getting back to it this fall. Stick with it, it really does get easier :-)

Holly said...

I think I need some Zen...I have yet to jump on the yoga band wagon but I hear it is great...and if it helps with the flab (because I am thinking ahead and planning on losing that 20 lbs. soon} I must try it soon!

Theresa said...

Oh Jenny, just popping in for a quick giggle! I knew the Zen was your alphabet word:)

You go girl, Yoga sounds good to me and Boo boo too:)

Have a blessed day my friend! HUGS!

Theresa said...

YaY for JennY! How awesome ladY! O wait...the letter's Z not Y....arrGH. Juzt kidding! I'm antizipating the webcam Jenny Yoga Alphabet clazz! Zine me up!

laterg8r said...

ilove a yoga work out but not the chanting and other nonsense that goes with it sometimes LOL :D

Pondside said...

I loved Oprah's term - Armajello - because that's what I have.
Please, please keep us posted on how yoga works - I'm in need of arm intervention.

Country Dreaming said...

Too funny! What a picture you paint.
Come by Dreaming over the next few days and later tonight--excititn things are happening.

Melinda

Jeanie said...

I guess I am a New Age woman too since I just had a birthday. At least I am a new age. I have dabbled in yoga in the past, but I think you have to do more than dabble to achieve Zen, or to achieve much of anything at all except for a few aches and pains.

Betty (picture circa 1951) said...

Jenny...you are being too hard on yourself. I thought you looked great holding that pose in the first picture.

Marlene said...

Bat wings? I call them BINGO WINGS! LOL!!!

Good for you!! I've often thought of yoga. That's as far as I've gotten though....thinking about it!

The Words Crafter said...

You know those people aren't real, right? Well, ok, they're real. But not like us. They're rejects from Cirque du Soleil. Good luck with your class!

Brenda said...

Have not done yoga. I wore my hip joints out years ago taking all the aerobics classes. I have quite a few different stretches I do daily per my physical therapist. Hope it goes well for you!

Jingle said...

very superb image,
yoga could be both fun and wholesome..
cheers!

Sweetums5 said...

As always, I enjoyed reading your post. Love your humor and way with words! I admire you for taking up yoga. I, too, need to get rid of what I can see will be future saggy-baggy bat wings. Your post has motivated me to consider it. Good luck with the class, and thanks for sharing!

Chatty Crone said...

Jenny - that picture of you on the those bars with your legs out - I am so impressed! Way to go girl.

sandie

(LOL)

Unprocessed1 said...

No bat wings? I'm on my way to yoga! We'll talk later...

Ms. Anthropy said...

I'll pray for you right after I can get this cramp to release! Just looking at that picture made my body go into spasms.

One Mama said...

Oh my goodness! Your posts always make me laugh! I sometimes do yoga. If you really want to be firm and tight, you should try pole-dancing! Oops, I guess that's not PG! But really, I've heard people say that its a really good workout.

Deb said...

you go girl....my bat wings are flapping in the wind as I cheer you on....I'm standing on my saggie baggie legs too

signed...bkm said...

I hate anything that requires weights and waiting, standing and sitting in strange and sweating positions... so I will pray for you...I do force myself to excerise a couple times a week against my better judgement...but we will prevail....somehow...I think...bkm

Sharon K. Mayhew said...

I've tried yoga. I'm not very good at it. I'm more of a spin/weight lifting/kick boxing chick...

Jo said...

oh i am so with you on this one, i go to a rehabilitative yoga class ... for newbies and injured and elderly ... and darn if those elderly dont just rock at yoga! and i just kinda roll around on the floor unable to touch my toes !

The Muse said...

Ms Jenn
perhaps a group yoga class
to allow
all your blog followers to achieve Zen
in perfect harmony....
with posted pics!
:)
you crack me up ~ LOL
where oh where has the time gone?

Bye Alpa Meme, we barely knew you....

Cheryl D. said...

I never could get into yoga, but I know a ton of people who swear by it! Hang in there and enjoy!

Rayna M. Iyer said...

chuck spiritual enlightenment- yoga is good for the body. If you have the patience for it. I don't :-(

H said...

We had a healthy lifestyle week at school last year and our kids got to try yoga. Unfortunately, it was in my job-share's half of the week.

I say 'unfortunately', because her description of some of the 'fluffier' kids was hilarious and I wish I'd been there to see it first hand!!!

My end of the week got Tai Chi, which struck me as being very much like karate, but with all of the interesting bits taken out :(

JcVeggie said...

Wow!! Very impressed! Yoga is super awesome for your body and you can do it anywhere there's open space:) I bet you will love how it makes you feel!! I have been MIA the last couple weeks and i am super happy to be back. My family was visiting from Alaska and I had my hands full!! I wanted to say I am happy to be back and I hope you're not too mad at me for missing class...i know it will probably effect my overall grade:) I have lots of projects I am working on and posting all the time...good luck with your new age zen yoga...have you ever tried trapeze?

Mumsy said...

Have fun at your yoga's class..Hmm..I think "bat wings" are growing on me..better check into yoga soon..

LuLu Kellogg said...

Your joints are going to love you for it! You will feel wonderful! Just don't be surprised if you have a wee bit of gas escape when you get into some of those positions. *giggle* (ummmm yea, it's happened to me before)...LOL

LuLu♥

Tolentreasures said...

So funny! Hope that it works for you! I am in my second week of boot camp and so far the main change in my body is that I am sleeping at night. I am also napping in the recliner for an hour to prepare me to sleep at night and half asleep at work preparing to sleep at night. Wait, I don't think that is the exercise, maybe it is the swearing off of sweets, no sugar, lots of sleep.

Have a great weekend.

Cathy

Jackee said...

Good for you! I like yoga for its exercise appeal, but not for enlightment.Because I just can't close my mind down enough to feel Zen. I talked to my Tai chi teacher about that and he said I may never achieve Zen in yoga since I'm the type of person who can't sit still without ANYTHING to do. He says I should start with Quigong or something that requires meditation and motion and then slowly learn to hold still. He's probably right.

Now I've learned to enjoy it all by just getting out of each discipline what I can. For now. :o)

Good luck!

Silke said...

Oh, Jenny, you made me laugh out loud with this post! Good luck! I was thinking of starting with yoga again next week - I've gotten so stiff! I'll think of you when everyone is bent into a pretzel and I'm doing the plank pose... Hugs, Silke

My name is PJ. said...

If you get a WII, you can do yoga at home too!!

PERMANENT POSIES said...

Well, I am slow to comment this week. In fact, I dont remember reading your blog last week. I am going to have to go back. I can not seem to have time to get through to read them all. Anyway, I am about to start Heavy Yoga....through classes on the TV. No spandex clad skinny minnies next to me for yoga! I would be too embarrassed and probably have a panic attack and have to leave...haha. So....you have it right....fat yoga is now out on DVD. My question for the lady is if it is such great exercise, why is she still so fat? Not too encouraging for me! But I don't want bat wings so I will give it a shot.

Catherine said...

You are too funny, Jenny! Hope you survived the yoga class ... I don't think I could subject myself (or the rest of the class) to that these days.
Have a great weekend, enjoy your zen time,
Blessings,
Catherine :)

Sarah said...

Jenny, take a cue from the golden frog and modify some of those poses. :-)
You are the best! I'm still giggling. ~ sarah

Personalized Sketches and Sentiments said...

Good Job! & "To the Bat Cave, Batgirl!" (OH, goodness...I thought I would start my comment with something original...than my typical hahaha, etc... but not to say that you are a girl with bat wings!) If I only knew that a little yoga was al it took to not have batwings! Shucks! I wonder if it is too late to firm mine up?

Oooo! I dont know if I could even begin to strike that pose though! Ouch!
I am very impressed! Hope your yoga days are happy days!

Blessings & Aloha!

Melinda Cornish said...

I believe in order to achieve Zen, your mind needs to be an oasis of stillness....somehow, I just dont see that happening for you.......