Monday, July 19, 2010

How to escape the heat in Arizona...

Step 1. Pack a giant picnic lunch suitable for 17 truck drivers.

Step 2. Borrow your son's truck and his three daughters and load the bed of the truck up at 8:39 am.

Step 3. Begin handing out food from picnic lunch 13 minutes into your drive North.
Step 4. Drive farther north. North, north, north. To where the pine trees rise up from rocky red earth and the saguaro cacti disappear from view. North, north, north. To where the meringue of clouds sits beautifully atop the Mogollan rim. North, north, north. You can observe the temperature gage drop in front of your eyes...108 degrees to 105. 103, 101, 98, 95, 92, 87, 85 and finally 72 degrees. An announcement to be accompanied by cheers of five people anxious to escape the sweltering heat if only for a day.
Step 5. While watching the temperature gage fall, put cotton balls in ears so they do not bleed from hearing the word "Grandma, Grandma, Grandma" uttered approximately 237.5 times per child per hour! Sing songs. Talk. Sing songs. Talk. Feed them more things from the picnic basket. Talk.

Step 6. Stop at visitors center to use outhouse-style restrooms. Discuss contents at the bottom of the toilet shaft. Discuss why it smells bad. Wait with littlest child for a long, long time in smelly outhouse-style restroom while husband and two older girls wander around visitor center. Haul little blond girl out of restroom to see an impatient line of 16 knees-clenched-together glaring women.

Step 7. Arrive at lake number one at 10:28 am. Exclaim at how wonderful the air smells. Attempt to catch butterflies. Go for a hike. Try to discourage little girls from wanting to eat lunch. Talk. Sing songs. Repeat Step 6 with minor variations.
Step 8. Arrive at lake number two. Exclaim at how wonderful the air smells. Give up on diverting little girls from eating lunch. Feed little girls. Feed little girls some more. Put food away. Repeat Step 6 with minor variations.
Step 9. Play in lake. Throw rocks. Discuss the possible need to repeat Step 6. Play in lake some more.



Step 10. Return to picnic area.

Step 11. Eat lunch again and repeat Step 6 with minor variations.

Step 12. Load up car and drive up bumpy dirt road.

Step 13. Test heart and stress stamina while standing on rock-ledge overlook.




Step 14. Pass time driving on bumpy dirt road by listening to Mr. Jenny tell stories of grizzly bears and washing the skunk smell out of dogs with tomato juice.

Step 15. Return to a civilized road. Repeat Step 6 EXCEPT conduct this step beside road with all three girls.

Step 16. Stop at DQ to feed three starving girls. Repeat Step 6. Sigh...

Step 17. Drive back to the Valley of the Sunstroke and pass time by telling an epic 1 hour 45 minute saga of living on a farm and finding baby animals hidden in the garden including, but not limited to, 6 sparkly puppies, 3 tiny white kittens, 3 baby foxes and 1 baby goat. Feed little girls from remnants of picnic lunch suitable for 17 truck drivers.

Step 18. Drive south, south, south and watch the temperature climb up, up, up .... 75 degrees to 80. 82, 86, 89, 93, 97, 104, 110. An announcement to be accompanied by the groans of 5 people who are not anxious to return to the sweltering heat.

Step 19. Swap truck filled with little girls and muddy shoes with son and his wife at 5:47 pm.

Step 20. Drive home in stunned silence.

And that, my friends, is how you escape the heat in Arizona.

Sigh...



post signature

57 comments:

Cheryl said...

You could always buy a plane ticket to Alaska but what fun is that? Ya don't wanna come here right now. The humidity would kill ya dead.

My name is PJ. said...

What a fabulous idea for a day with the girls! I'm so glad you could catch a break from the heat, Matlock! You should have brought the rest of us with you.....

ain't for city gals said...

We have escaped for a month by going to Colorado..a working vacation but still nice...

Ms. Anthropy said...

Well, I must say at 72 degrees, it must be much easier to tolerate all the inconveniences. It's not even that cool in my house, in the AC.

Silke said...

Oh, your writing just makes me laugh out loud! I could imagine it all, especially the many step 6's that had to be repeated. And all the food that was consumed. What a wonderful day!! Hugs, Silke

5thsister said...

My kind of day trip! Now that the kids are older they can carry their own sustenance in their own backpacks as we hike to and from waterfalls in the NC mountains! Love, love, love that scenic overlook!

Deb said...

what a great day trip....I bet everyone slept good last night...

Theresa said...

So much fun reading your blog Jenny! It will be neat when your granddaughters start reading it and reminiscing about all their adventures. Have a great Monday!

mbkatc230 said...

What a wonderful day. I'm all too familiar with step 6 :) How nice to be able to escape the heat if only for the day. The photos are beautiful, especially the ones from the overlook. What an amazing view, and what an amazing grandma you are! Kat

Julie Schuler said...

Yikes! That overlook made the bottom of my feet ache. And I thought we had it bad here at a measly 91.

PJ said...

phew! that tuckered me out just reading it. the pics are beautiful and it looks like an awesome place. have a great day!

hugz!

Terry said...

Looks like a great day, even if you did spend half of it on #6! LOL

Pondside said...

I just wouldn't know what to do with myself in that kind of heat. It sounds like you have the solution - at the risk of complete exhaustion! I detest outhouses - once worked in the north where our water came straight from the lake in a pail and the outhouse was a three-seater. I am not at all nostalgic for those days!

Jocelyn said...

Looks like a wonderful time was had and can I so relate with you Grandma....

We had the boys at the Ocean last week and by the time they left...I needed to sleep for two days!!!

Have a great Monday!!!

Jeanie said...

I would have fit right in with the girls on this trip. I like to start on the food right away and I like lots of #6 stops. The overlook would have found me being a little less brave than they were, though.

Mary Elizabeth said...

I can't wait for grandchildren!
Although I can wait for the porta-potty experiences!
What a great day!

M.E.

Jemm said...

That is great that you are able to do that in a day! We'd have to drive to Colorado and it takes 8 or 9 hours to get to the mountains where it still may be in upper 80's. It's been around about 96 or 97 here but the heat index has been 107-110. Ugh! Looks like a great trip though :)

Sue said...

What great memories you are making with those girls! You are a grandma and grandpa par excellence...

=)

Chatty Crone said...

Now that was easy! Right?

Looks like you had a great time!

Sandie

Lucy said...

I'm on my way next Monday. Pine. I've heard it's hot even up there. *sigh*

Lindsay said...

whew!! I was tired just reading it!! Glad you escaped the heat... had you had to keep up with the 3 of them in 110 degree weather you might have passed out ;-)

Theresa said...

Sounds like a fun day! Love the pictures! Stay cool my friend. Hugs

Tina said...

Oh, what a wonderful day you gave those girls! I'd be repeating this on a daily basis if I was stuck in such hot weather. You know how much I hate the heat...

Busy Bee Suz said...

This sounds FUN and exhausting...especially step 6.

Unknown Mami said...

You've got some lucky grandkids. I wish my daughter lived near hers so that she could have wonderful adventures like that.

Sue (Someone's Mom) said...

I'm exhausted just reading this. Look at the end of my post today...that is how we beat the heat in Illinois!

laterg8r said...

they sure can wear you out quick, great post :D

Tamra said...

HILARIOUS!!

How fortunate those little girls are to have you and the many wonderful memories you are making for them.

Tamra

Linda Medrano said...

What extraordinarily gorgeous girls! Wow! It sounds like such a fun day! And cool. Oh thank God for the cool! My husband is from Phoenix. I can't go there after March or before October! Northern California is always cool. Come and visit! Bring the girls!

An Imperfect New Momma said...

Sounds like you had quite an adventurous time. Thanks for the laugh :)

Lorrie said...

I don't understand why you just didn't take a couple of tents, and pack a semi-truck full of food and just stay up there in the cool, traipsing back and forth to the outhouse. You could repeat step over and over and over and over and over and over....

Lady Banana said...

Looks like a beautiful place to visit!

beyondbaffled said...

I live in northeast TN and for most of June the temp was in the mid to high 90's and the humidity was unreal (it was actually the highest June since they started recording temps in TN). A friend of mine actually moved to Arizona earlier this year and he send us weather updates on Facebook. Every time he posts it's in the triple digits. Tennessee is hot enough so I don't know how you guys stand it!
It looked like a great trip though and you have such a beautiful family!

Cheryl D. said...

What a nice getaway! We've had an usually cool summer here until last week. The heat finally came! Yuck, we had to deal with temps around 108 with high humidity on top of that! It's supposed to get more comfortable here in a couple of days. But I'm sure the heat will return for a couple of months. I hate it. I don't think I could ever live in Arizona because of it.

maggie said...

So great to share you love and be loved especially where it is cooler. Great pics.

Unprocessed1 said...

Good job! You're a brave woman! For taking the girls that close to the edge and not having a heart attack - and for coming back! The valley in July ain't for wimps!

Lourie said...

You are very brave! But it sounds like a grand day!

Rocky Mountain Woman said...

I took the grandkids to my friend's cabin that's at about 7500 feet this weekend and it was cool, baby cool...it's 100 in the valley here and about 80 at my house (I'm at 6500 feet) and it was about 70 at the cabin...Bliss!

Linda Robinson said...

All I have to say is Thank Goodness I am not a Grandmother Yet! Although I know a lot of preschool songs I could sing on the long drive, because my husband just doesn't apprciate my songs or my singing.. Hehe..

Have a great evening..

Marlene said...

You and Mr. Jenny are fantastic grandparents....cuz honestly, I'd be driving NORTH NORTH NORTH all by my SELF SELF SELF! :)

Aunt Amelia's Attic said...

There HAS to be an easier way!

I'm exhausted, just reading this.

,-)

The Words Crafter said...

:))) That was great. The pics are awesome, btw. Maybe for the rest of my life, I'm gonna call it " step number 6, with minor variations." I simply loved this. Do the little girls have any idea that they're stars? And that you're the director/narrator? You should publish your blog and give it to them sometime...I would have loved something like this from my childhood...

Amy said...

A wonderful (if exhausting) time had by all! WHAT glorious memories. And look how skinny you and Chuck are getting! :) :)

Linda @ A La Carte said...

Step 6 (with variations) always takes a long time! Sounds like fun anyway and a good way to escape the heat!

Country Dreaming said...

OH Mr and Mrs Jenny--

Aren't you two THE best Grandparents ever!!!
If I lived in Arizona I'd be making that trip daily!

Great job!!

Melinda

"Cottage By The Sea" said...

Good times! You're making great memories with the kids. By the way, that tomato juice thing has never worked to deskunk my dogs.

jfb57 said...

You forgot Stwep 21 - share with your virtual friends! Lovely post Jenny. I so remember opening the picnic as we came out of the drive!!

Aging Mommy said...

Oh to be a child and have endless lunches without ever stopping for a moment to wonder about your waistline :-)

Sounds like a fabulous trip - but then anything to do with hiking, water, trees and overlooks always does to me! Great way to escape the heat too!

Jojo said...

What a great adventure and what fantastic grandparents! Summer is the best!!

Pat @ Mille Fiori Favoriti said...

This sounds like a perfect day, Jenny! I enjoyed looking at all your photos. Your granddaughters are all so sweet!

Is the rainbow week starting this week?

♥ Pat

Pat @ Mille Fiori Favoriti said...

This sounds like a perfect day, Jenny! I enjoyed looking at all your photos. Your granddaughters are all so sweet!

Is the rainbow week starting this week?

♥ Pat

Tolentreasures said...

Great story of the day! I would have had a stroke with my grandchildren at that overlook! The littlest one reminds me of my one granddaughter, all skinny arms and legs with all that blonde fluff on top of her little adorable head.

Cathy

Nadeen said...

I'm living it with you - all but the 100°s. Ouch. But my ears are hurting.

Melinda Cornish said...

what a wonderful day! bless your heart....

Betty (picture circa 1951) said...

I'm wondering how many miles you had to go to reach that cooler temperature? Pretty amazing the way the temperature dropped. You can tell you have a lot of fun with the grandchildren. I think you're a fun grandma!

Pink Dandy Chatter said...

This is a great way to escape the Arizona heat! It sounds pretty good, right about now =)

Terra said...

ridiculously funny - I wonder why step 6 had to be repeated so many times was it the sodas the girls were drinking or was it mostly for you? In my house it would be me...