Wednesday, July 14, 2010

Rise up against Censorship!

Yes, Mr. Jenny...this is directed at you.

Sunday morning I rose at dawn (as all good farmer-girl-wannabe's do) and drove toward the Eastern horizon.

The sun had just risen over the jagged ocher silhouettes of the Superstition Mountains, washing the pale lavender sky with ribbons of pink and peach.

I arrived at the farmyard to be met by my squawking friend, Buffy. Buffy and I conversed a bit about the day. Buffy protested her treat of a banana. Obviously she is one picky chicken. And after we bonded for a bit sharing nostalgic memories of both of our deceased sisters, I headed my trusty steed back toward home where my kitchen was certain to be fragrant with the perfume of the coffee that hadn't finishd brewing when I left.

On my journey, I turned the radio on. It was tuned to NPR which I, of course, listen to quite often since it ...ummm.... stimulates me intellectually ... yea, yea, that's it.

And Car Talk was on. Which is a show I have never listened to before.

And after they did some transmission blah, blah, blah talk they started talking about how men can never find anything that their wives ask them to find.

One example was when the commentators brother wanted to make some recipe that needed black olives and bread crumbs. His wife told him, "they are right there in the pantry," and he looked and looked but couldn't find them.

He went back and said, "there isn't any, I will go to the store," and she said, "no they're in there look again!"

And he looked!

And his wife was, obviously, wrong because there were no olives or bread crumbs.

So he went to the store and brought some home and there, on the counter, were five cans of black olives and three containers of bread crumbs.

And when I came home I grabbed a cup of coffee and told Mr. Jenny this hilarious story but he did not find it nearly as funny as I did. Kind of like the dead chicken post that cracked me up and that most of you didn't find funny at all!

So I told him I was going to write my post about how he can't find anything either and how that would be really funny because probably every guy in the universe does the exact same thing.

And he told me, "No."

And I said, "No?"

And he said, "No, I don't think that would be funny."

So I'm not writing about it.

But just so you know I feel incredibly censored!
And I am getting ready to rise up in protest of not being able to tell you this important story!

Wanna join me?

Sigh...



post signature

43 comments:

mbkatc230 said...

What next, burning books? Go ahead, tell your story. Rise up against censorship, it's the difference between a democracy and a dictatorship! I'll paint the signs. On second thought, you paint the signs, I'm not very crafty. Thanks for the giggle this morning. And I LOVE car talk, those guys crack me up. Do you listen to Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me? It's my favorite :) Kat

Paula said...

protest away, men can't find anything, nothing, not even to save their lives! I love npr, and the car talk guys are a riot! Once in a while I even learn something:)

Terra said...

Men are like children when it comes to this. Kids can't find anything either even if it is staring them in the face. They look right past it, over it etc. That said, I have the same problem from time to time! But regardless I think the story on NPR was hilarious and I think a story about Mr. Jenny would also be hilarious and yet even though you didn't post one you painted the picture and this post was hilarious.

PS> I thought the chicken story was funny too, my comment may not have reflected that but I did!

LuLu Kellogg said...

Tell it!!

This is reversed at our house. I am the one that can never find a thing so the Commander may think this is funny!

LuLu♥

Mumsy said...

My children can't find anything either, unless I hand it to them, so tell it, Jenny...No censorship in blogland..

linda said...

Yep, you are right here. men can't find anything...well, almost anything. silly creatures.

Margaret (Peggy or Peg too) said...

But you see Mr. Jenny that even though you have protested Jenny from telling us the specifics all women do know it's true that you or any man can't find anything.

We also know that a gene was omitted during the construction of men. It's not your fault it just is. It frustrates us but we still love you.

Deb said...

you go girl don't be held down...Men and children can't find anything...you keep telling your story.....

Allie said...

I almost tinkled in my jammies!!! How funny was this story!!!! Vandy always says when I am cooking, got everything you need and I ALWAYS say of course I do, about 30 minutes into it, he will hear a huge "UGHHH", comes around the corner and say, what did you forget, what do I need to go get. And it MAKES me furious ...but I secretly laugh that he knows my sounds and exactly what I will need him to do (astore trip) ... thank you for my morning laugh!

Jeanie said...

In addition to being impressed that you made the drive to your chicken sitting duties BEFORE coffee, I am very impressed at your ability to wade through the muddy waters of censorship.

Cheryl said...

I think they all have selective vision issues. Best I can figure.

And remember, "It's my blog and I'll rant if I want to, rant if I want to."

Theresa said...

You know...I'm still stuck on conversing with a banana eating chicken at dawn - without caffeine consumption...You are my idol.

Maggie S said...

All men do that???

Sorry about the censorship. Isn't there some sort of activist group you can call?

Amy said...

It is true Jenny! All men. And 12 year old boys.

And I LOVE Car Talk. Those two guys crack me up! I don't care a hoot about the car stuff - I just love listening to them. And their accents and the way they laugh! LOL

Aging Mommy said...

Oh you are so very right, it is such a man thing. Very occasionally my husband will go to the grocery store for me and get a few urgently needed supplies but he always returns with only about half of the things on my list because apparently "they did not have the other items" which translated means he could not find them despite being given specific instructions as to exactly where they were. Same at home, every day I get the "where is my....." because he cannot find something and has forgotten where it is and he has no idea where anything in the pantry is :-)

Pondside said...

They're hard wired that way. Keys mess with their wiring the worst - they can be inches from TGD's hand but will be invisible to him. It's a mystery.
The more I read the more I am convinced that you are a gem of a hen sitter.

Cheryl D. said...

Hehe! That's pretty funny! I guess men aren't genetically wired to see things right in front of them. Sorry about the "censorship" though.

Tina said...

Why would Mr. Jenny stop you from writing about such a universal known truth??? I mean c'mon, we've all experienced similar moments to the olive/breadcrumb thing. My best example is from one of our snowboarding trips. Jake couldn't find his ski pants in his duffle. I mean c'mon, it's not like they could have gotten misplaced, or mis"filed" somewhere in our house. One duffle bag is all he had to look through. So I finally go to help him. The leg of said ski pants is sticking out the top of the bag...

Country Wings in Phoenix said...

Oh You Go Girl....
I love it. I can just see you in your overalls going in to converse with Miss Buffy. You are way bigger than me girl, cuz my chicken days have been long over. I didn't like them as a child, and I wouldn't take care of any as an adult. No way.

Now I have to tell you. In my house just 2 days ago. It was yellow mustard and pace picante hot sauce. I told him they were in the cupboard, he insisted they were not, added them to the list. I came through, saw them on my list. Went to the cupboard, pulled out the two mustards and 3 hot sauces, placed them nicely on the counter. Waited, and waited for him to come through. He did. His response, "well they weren't there when I looked." Typical man.

Have a great day sweetie. I love my cookbook. I am checking through it for recipes, and making out my list of ingredients that I am going to need. When I bake one of the recipes, I will post. Thanks for the reads. I love it.

Talk to you soon. Love ya girl, Sherry

Kari said...

Well its TRUE! My dear sweet husband started to cook for the family about two years ago because I quit. No literally I told them I quit. So he took my place and he does a fine job. Better than me actually. BUT when we moved I found twenty cans of beef broth. I asked him if he was saving broth for an upcoming catastrophe that will involve having a lot of beef broth on hand. He said, no I just can't find it when I cook and I end up buying more.
TWENTY CANS AND HE CAN'T FIND ONE?!!! This fundamental truth about men needs to be told. This is a democracy last I heard. You can't keep the man...I mean woman down!

Theresa said...

I am with you Girl! I am right there with you:) BIG hugs! Have a wonderful day!

The Quintessential Magpie said...

I can't believe that Mr. Jenny censored you from telling your story. I mean how many of us women can't relate to that story he won't let you tell? I mean the story he won't allow is funny! Alas, MEN!

XO,

Sheila :-)

Tamra said...

My husband will be standing in front of the fridge looking at the shelves and what he is looking for will be dead center on the shelf in front of him and he will still say, "Where's the .........?" He even ask me where he put HIS tools!! Hilarious!

I once heard a comedienne say she told her husband "A uterus is not a tracking device!" Every time he asks me where something is, that I have no clue where it could be I think of that statement and laugh.

Oh and I'd love to have that censorship button on a T-shirt. So funny!

Diana said...

I don't think that you should be censored but then again Mr. Jenny is your partner.
However being your partner he should have went along with you to visit the chicken!
I love "Car Talk", "Prairie Home Companion" and "Zorba Pastor" all great NPR shows!
Love Di ♥

Lourie said...

LOL! What a great story. Hahaha. Tell your stories...or I know...you can tell a story about a friend whose husband....seee...hahahaha!

Sue said...

All I can say is that it's a good thing you weren't a free spirit living in occupied territory during WWII. You don't seem to do this censorship thing terribly well.

;)

Julie Schuler said...

Dave just did that yesterday with the bread! He couldn't find a whole loaf of bread in the fridge. So he made Matthew a sandwich on a hamburger bun, which he hated.

Write Chick said...

Haha. I loved the way you wrote about it...without actually writing about it. Great way of tip-toeing around the censorship. :-)

I have a theory that men 'can' find things. They just pretend that they can't. Because if they pretend long enough they know that we'll stomp off and get it or do it ourselves. It's a coping mechanism for them.

Lucky dogs.

Marlene said...

While I agree with you, in theory....I must caution you that Mr. Jenny writes equally well, and so this could backfire! Heehee!!

Tgoette said...

Okay, I can take just so much guy bashing before I have to say something about it.

I admit that we guys do sometimes get distracted and have difficulties with some mundane tasks, but it's only because our minds are racing with high concept ideas which you women would find impossible to understand. Stuff like:

What happens when you put a lightsaber in water?

Can a hearse drive in the carpool lane?

How does Freddy Krueger wipe his butt?

And you thought we were all morons.

Nancy C said...

You are brilliant, you know that?

NOBODY in my house can find anything. The boys are always looking for their shoes, as they sit inches from their feet.

I love Car Talk.

Erin Wallace said...

I found your blog through Charm of the Carolinas and Love it! I am looking forward to reading more. It would be wonderful to see you at Dropped Stitches!

xo Erin
droppedstitches72.blogspot.com

Busy Bee Suz said...

This is so true...men all have this issue.
I say if it is not hanging from the ceiling and knocking him in the face, my husband won't see it. That is of course unless it is 'naked'...they it can be seen a mile away. :)
I will join your protest.

Chatty Crone said...

Oh my goodnesss - my poor husband cannot find a thing - even if it is right in front of him! sandie

mrs. c said...

Once again you hit the nail on the head, hubby can't find things that I ask for but he has an uncanny skill of finding things I have misplaced so we are the perfect pair!

Ms. Anthropy said...

Certain people around here, who shall remain nameless, couldn't find their butt with both hands AND A FLASHLIGHT! Just sayin,.

...and we've lived in the same house for 33 years! Just sayin'.

Sue (Someone's Mom) said...

Mr. Jenny must feel as if you are sharing his secrets...but, we are women, most of us are married or have been at one time...this is no secret!

The Words Crafter said...

I thought your other chicken post was funny and your attempt to empathize with Buffy is sweet. As for the censorship, I suppose it's understandable. It's one thing to know something and quite another to have it in black and white-for the world to see. Men can't find anything. It IS genetic-they also can't hear anything, remember anything, and they have imaginary conversations in their heads, you know the ones, when they've thought about telling us something important, and thinking about it equals actually doing it to them. We should pity them, really. They can't help it...

Kim @ Savvy Southern Style said...

I'll definitely join you!!

Linda @ A La Carte said...

Post away and Mr Jenny, just get over it!! Men and kids can't find anything even it is is front of their noses! Sorry the truth hurts but no censorship!
Gosh that felt good!

RNSANE said...

I think you are doing a very important thing for womankind by protesting this censorship. You are such a leader amongst us and I admire your ability to forge ahead, in spite of Mr. Jenny's clear dislike of your stance on this issue. It is a man thing, this inability to find things right in front of them. I would suspect even Michelle Obama has this same complaint.

My name is PJ. said...

Through careful scientific testing, I've discovered that there is a chromosome missing in the DNA of nearly every male.....and that chromosome is the one that would have allowed them to actually find something and not have the female of the species get up and put her hands directly on the supposedly missing item.

Thank goodness you were censored and couldn't share that story....because I would have laughed so hard, Mr. Jenny wouldn't want me hanging around with you.


The dead chicken post was hilarious!!!!!!

Charmingdesigns said...

I love it Jenny...and I find it VERY funny. Yes, my husband cant find a darn thing, even if it on the counter in front of him!!!
Laurie