"Okay, Dad. I'm just gonna warn you. You're going to want to bring your nitroglycerin on Thanksgiving."
I said this in a very sweet voice, so I was surprised when there was a sharp intake of breath on the other end of the receiver.
My Dad, bless his soul, is closer to ninety than eighty now...
...and I was trying to be a considerate daughter.
"What did you say," he blurted out finally.
"I said...you're probably going to want to bring your nitroglycerin on Thanksgiving so you don't have a heart attack."
After a few moments more of silence he finally asked, "Why do you say that?"
"Because," I explained, "This year I am using disposable plates, cups, forks AND table coverings. No china. No matching glasses. No silverware I drag out once a year. I'm tired. This house is really small. The kitchen is microscopic. I'm just going to make it easy on myself this year."
"It's about time!" my Dad said loudly in reply. "But I thought you said you'd never use paper on Thanksgiving."
"Well, Dad. I guess I should never have said never. This is the year...so bring your nitroglycerin along!"
I hope your Thanksgiving doesn't require nitro.
Or even aspirin this year.
I'm going to try out the philosophy that it's not about the china and the linens...
...that it's about the fellowship and family...
I'll have to let you know how that goes!
To those that are celebrating on Thursday, Happy Thanksgiving Eve, dear friends.
Clink that good china for me!
I is for Impaling
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