Thursday, December 17, 2009

I know you're busy with Christmas, but could you please run by Home Depot...

...and buy me a 2 x 4?

...and then, if you could spare just a teensy moment more could you whack me alongside of the head with it?

I'd really appreciate it.


Because I am an idiot.

Several months ago my daughter-in-law and I went to K-mart and put stuff in layaway.

I haven't attempted layaway in about 138 years but it seemed like a good idea because a) my granddaughters wouldn't find everything and b) my husband would have less sticker shock if the payments were spaced out.

OK, here's the problem with doing layaway at my age.

Actually that should be PROBLEMS!

First of all who the heck can remember what they got? Sure I had a 17 1/2" long receipt but that would be too much work to read it and try and remember.

Second of all because of the first reason I pretty much went out and bought all the stuff I put in layway anyway.

And third of all, there is this major reason... Oh yea. Big time.

Every single time I've tried going in there the line looks pretty much like this. Only no-one is smiling. And there are a lot more kids with runny noses in line.

So I tried asking the girl at the service desk when would be the best time to come. And she replied "oh between 3:00 pm and 3:01 1/2 pm but only on days that start with the letter T" or some such nonsense.

So I've been waiting and stewing over the whole depressing K-mart layaway fiasco.

Until this morning.

I woke up around 6 and I said to my husband "that's it! I'm going to go to K-mart as soon as they open and get my layaway stuff." He was oddly unimpressed by my brilliant idea. And less impressed still when I turned on the light.

Obviously he did not read our marriage contract rules that state quite clearly "If my wife is awake I will immediately awaken and do her bidding."

When I called K-mart I said "what time do you open?" and the cranky lady said "we open at 6 am" and I said "so are there people in line for layaway" and she said "honey, there isn't even anybody in the entire store."

Yee haw!

I threw on some clothes, threw in my contacts and headed for the big K.

Although I didn't see any blue lights flashing during my mad dash back to the layaway department I actually didn't see anyone else either. Maybe two employees.

And all the chairs and benches lining the hallway leading up the layaway counter were empty. The layaway girl was reading a magazine!

And I got my layaway in something like 15 minutes.

And since they have to check off each item against the receipt I made piles of stuff to return because I had already bought something like it. Or because with several items I actually thought "who the heck did I even buy that for?"

I returned more then I kept.

And then bought the stuff I thought I had bought the first time.


Are you confused now?

No matter.

Just take my advice here.

When you go by Home Depot to pick up the 2 x 4 DO NOT PUT ANYTHING IN LAYAWAY.

It is just not worth the suffering.



Wanda said...

Years ago I learned if I started buying for the grandkids "too early" I ended up eventually buying way too much by the time Christmas arrived.

Jules said...

Now that's crazy!

The Lone Dollier said...



Me....bunny said...

Oh man...this was funny...being of a certain age (cough cough) myself, I can totally relate about the losing the mind errhh I mean the forgetfulness. Good for you though for getting in there and working it out. In my house, if you turn on the light at that time of morning...someone better be on fire because I don't wake up for nothing...except crying babies, earthquakes and sex...and the last one is iffy. Have a good one Jenny~


Suz said...

I'm headed to Home Depot right now

Suz said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Noelle said...

i have done that myself many times, especially the part about re-buying everything that i had already put on layaway because i forgot i had it picked out since it was so long ago! and btw...did you know walmart doesn't even offer layaway anymore? i was a little shocked and peeved by that, i must say.

Our really empty nest said...

I have never tried layaway, and now I am so glad! I love your posts they are so stinkin' fun! Thanks for stopping by my blog, and I am so happy to report that Keegan is almost 100%. Still a little thin, poor guy, but getting better everyday! Have a great weekend! Sue

Julie Schuler said...

Omg, our money is sooo tight this year, I would sure as heck know if I bought something twice! But I can see other members of my family doing something like this. Next time, don't forget, there is probably a Toys for Tots drop box nearby, for twice bought items! I always take my boys shopping and make them pick out something good, that they would like for themselves, to put in the Toys for Tots box. I can tell if they did it right, because they get this pained look in their eyes when they put the item in the box!

Country Wings in Phoenix said...

Oh Sweetie...
I loved this post. How sweet is this? That is exactly why I don't do layaway. I can't remember what I put in there, and then along the shopping path, I end up picking up something way cooler, and then don't need what I put in there to begin with. (Did you get all that?)

Oh My Goodness. I hate to go to Home Depot. DH knows better than to send me there. They guys working there have no respect for a woman that comes in there. It is like we have invaded their space for sure. I'd like to take my 2 x 4sometimes and whack them over the head with it. I think they need to carry an aisle especially for us women with only pink tools. We might actually let our husbands shop there more if they had an aisle just for us too.

Well sweetie, I am so happy you got your layaway. Getting up early isn't really half bad. I get up at 3:45 every work day, and at least the traffic isn't bad at that time.

Have a great one. See ya soon.

Country hugs and much love..Sherry

Jana said...

Jenny gosh, you couldnt crack me up anymore, I swear, I love you....and the barcode comment was hilarious..why didnt I think of that? John adores you;) of course I do too...What a blessed man you have!

laterg8r said...

i haven't put anything on layaway ever! glad you didn't have to wait in line :D

Melissa Miller said...

Jenny you are so darned hilarious! Love ya girl! I just read your entire post out loud to my hubby as well and we just laughed and laughed. HeHe! *Smiles* ;)

Prim2Pink said...

The only thing I have that is close to a 2x4 from Home Depot is the paint stir stick I got yesterday. Will that do? ((just kidding))
I have learned to keep a list of the things I bought. Now I just have to remember where I kept that list.
Happy Holidays!!!

My name is PJ. said...

You should write a newspaper column. You'd be perfect. Just perfect!

Terri and Bob said...

LOL, I didn't know Kmart is doing layaway or I would be doing the exact same thing as you!!

Lemonade Makin' Mama said...

Oh Jenny... you light up my life, I swear it's true. Every time I need to laugh... I know where to come. Not that I'm laughing at you...

The Quintessential Magpie said...

Jenny, I hear you! I would probably forget I put in in layaway and then not get it after I had made my last payment. LOL!

I am an early morning riser, so the time wouldn't botther me that much. I love Kohl's which stays open till 11:00 for those of us who are night owls and hate crowds. ;-)


Sheila :-)

Pat @ Mille Fiori Favoriti said...

I never did lay away ...and now that I read your experience I know i never

Thanks for all your support Jenny. It has been a long month and I am beginning to think I can't have any more bad luck as I've used up my share for this year...oh oh...the new year will be here soon! ack!

Hugs, Pat