How NOT to sell a patio set on Craigs List!

So…

Mr. Jenny and I are moving.

And in the process of the move, we decided to sell a very large patio set that resides on our far back, back patio. You can access the far back, back patio from the main yard but there is also a large gate in the far back, back yard that leads to an alley that we own.

When I listed the set on Craigs List, Mr. Jenny and I talked about how we would have to have the buyer load it out of the alley…

So…

A guy called on my cell and said he wanted to see the set.

Since I’m still tuckered out from my little battle with strep, Mr. Jenny told me he would handle it and that I should just go to bed.

I gave him my cell phone, got into my flannel nightgown and went to bed.

After the doorbell rang, I heard Mr. Jenny talking to the potential buyer. I figured Mr. Jenny took the buyer into the far back, back yard to show him the patio set because Oskar, the weiner dog, had a barking fit.

But after a bit, he quit barking.

So…I dozed.

I awoke a brief time later to hear Oskar, the weiner dog, barking.

And barking.

And barking.

Not wanting to get up and get dressed, I called my cell phone…

… but Mr. Jenny didn’t answer.

And Oskar, the weiner dog, kept barking.

And barking.

And barking.

I called my cell phone again and Mr. Jenny finally answered.

He was all breathless.

And panting.

And I said, “What the heck are you doing? Oskar, the weiner dog, is barking and barking. Did the guy buy the patio set?”

And Mr. Jenny said, “I can’t talk now, I’m chasing horses!” and then he hung up on me.

Horses?

Horses?

We don’t own any horses.

As I was laying there trying to puzzle this out, the house phone rang and it was Mr. Jenny calling me from my cell phone. He sounded even more breathless. “Quick! Get dressed! Come help us catch these horses!”

So I quickly got dressed and went into the far back, back yard by the far back, back patio.


Nobody was in the yard, but the gate was wide open.

When I walked back to look through the gate I saw our alley was filled with horse poop, a man I’d never seen before, and a crazy looking ticked-off lady with wild red hair holding a leash. I also saw a huge black dog running my way.


“Acccckkk!!!!” I screamed to the man I’d never seen before. “Get your dog! Get your dog! Oskar, the weiner dog, will get into a fight! Get your dog!”

The man I’d never seen before yelled, “It’s not my dog! Who are you?”

“Whose dog is it?” I yelled back, “And who are you?”

The crazy looking ticked-off lady with wild red hair starting screaming, “It’s my dog! Why did you let my horses out?”

The huge black dog took off running through the far back, back yard heading toward my house.

I yelled at the crazy looking ticked-off lady with wild red hair, “Get the dog, get the dog!” but she just stood there swearing at me.

The man I’d never seen before took off running toward the house to catch the huge black dog.

The crazy looking ticked-off lady with wild red hair starting screaming at me, “Why did you let my horses out!”

I started yelling back at her, ‘This is our alley! Why are your horses in our alley anyway?”

Just then a big horse came running in through the open gate of the alley, interrupting our squabble.



Mr. Jenny came puffing up the alley behind the horse looking winded and red-faced and very annoyed.

The crazy looking ticked-off lady with wild red hair and Mr. Jenny started arguing.

“I asked permission to put the horses back here!” she yelled.

Mr. Jenny yelled back, “You did NOT! I wouldn’t have given you permission to let your horses poop all over our alley!”

The man I’d never seen before came back dragging the huge black dog by the collar.

We all looked at each other, trying to figure out what was going on.

Mr. Jenny said, “Can you help this guy load the table? I need to have a conversation here!” He lowered his eyebrows. I was scared. I never, ever, ever like to be around Mr. Jenny when he is having a conversation with his eyebrows lowered.

I went with the man I’d never seen before to help him load the chairs.

He was laughing really hard and kept saying, “Wow, that’s the most fun I’ve had in a long time!”

I asked him to tell me what had happened. He told me my husband had instructed him to drive around to the alley and he could pull his truck in and they would load the patio set there.

He told me had started driving around to the alley but had seen two horses charge by him followed by my husband chasing them.

He told me had turned his truck around and came back to the driveway to help my husband catch the horses.

He told me the Fed-ex driver had stopped at the end of our street and jumped out to chase the horses.

His eyes were big and wide. He looked delighted.

“And,” he added, “I got a perfect patio set, too!”

Mr. Jenny finally came into the far back, back yard and closed the gate. He was still all red faced.
We finished loading up the table.

And then we stood in the front yard and talked about the horses and the crazy looking ticked-off lady with wild red hair.

The guy who bought the table said, “You two women were both scary! You were yelling at me to get my dog but it wasn’t my dog but I was afraid to tell you it wasn’t my dog AND I was afraid to tell the crazy looking horse lady to get her dog…so I ran after the dog anyway!”

Mr. Jenny said, “You didn’t have to run after the dog, because I locked Oskar, the weiner dog, in the house!”

I said, “I didn’t know Oskar, the weiner dog, was locked in the house. Now I’m embarrassed. I apologize!”

The guy who bought the table said, “Don’t apologize. I should pay you extra for all that fun! That was the most exciting thing that happened to me in a long time! What happened with the ticked-off lady?”

Mr. Jenny said, “Oh, she’s calm now. She thought we were the other neighbors who told her she couldn’t have horses and she thought they owned the alley so she was just letting the horses poop in there, but she’s going to clean up the poop and put up a fence.”

Huh?

So…

After chatting and laughing some more the guy who bought the table said, “I hate to go, but if you have anything else to sell let me know, okay?”

And Mr. Jenny and I went inside and let Oskar, the weiner dog, out and sat down to recover.

But since this happened on Friday, Mr. Jenny’s had to go to work and when he went back into his office to get on a conference call he left me all alone with nobody to talk to about the whole crazy episode.

And because…

I couldn’t stand not hearing the other side of the story...

...and I'm just a teensy bit of a trouble-maker...

I jumped in the car and drove around the corner to the house of the crazy looking ticked-off lady with wild red hair.

And I knocked on her door...

To be continued…

(Hey, leave me alone. I have a boring life so I have to stretch out the telling of any psuedo-interesting tale as much as possible…)

PS. All the pictures were taken on Saturday...which is why the gate is closed and the horse is just standing there in the picture. The other horse was shy and wouldn't come out from around the shed. The gate behind the horse leads to the street that the horses ran down. The horse poop is real. And stinky.