How NOT to sell a patio set on Craigs List! Part 2!

Here's part one of this ridiculous story...just in case you missed it and you have absolutely nothing else to do!
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But before I start this part I'm going to be one of those people that have to go back and tell you something they missed telling you in the first part of their story.

Sorry. I'm forgetful like that.

Ummm...

What was I gonna say?

Oh yeah.

Now I remember...

I forgot to tell you that when you go out of the gate in our far back, back yard there is a second gate in the alley that goes out to the street.

When Mr. Jenny went into the alley from the gate in our back, back yard, he was quite surprised and puzzled over the horse poop all over the place.

When he was opening the padlock into the street he felt something by his shoulder and turned his head to see a horse. The horse pushed by him and pushed the gate open and ran out. Before Mr. Jenny could figure out what was happening the second horse dashed by him.

Then as he was running out the gate to catch the horses, the crazy looking ticked-off lady with wild red hair starting chasing after him and the horses...screaming and swearing..."You let my horses out!" (along with assorted swear words!)

I'm gonna see if I can make Mr. Jenny tell that part of the story himself...but he's watching something vaguely sports-like thing on TV and I think he's busy right now.

hee hee.

This is still making me laugh... Seriously. I really, really need to get out more.

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Now...part two officially continues...



I knocked again.

No answer.

Hmmm…

I decided to knock really, really loud and when I did the crazy looking ticked-off lady with wild red hair came to the door. Only now she didn’t look quite as crazy. Or quite as ticked-off. She still had wild red hair, though.

She looked a little worried but I smiled at her. “I come in peace,” I said…because I’m moderately dramatic like that.

She stepped quickly forward and hugged me!

Hugged me hard!

I was surprised...to say the least.

“Oh, oh, I’m so glad you stopped over…really, truly…I’m not a bitch! And I was just getting ready to get some butter out and make you and your husband some cookies.”


I am nothing if not reassuring when confronting previously crazy looking ticked-off ladies with wild red hair, especially those that are throwing out the possibility of cookies. “I’m not a bitch either!” I assured her. I hugged her back.

We let go of each other and then we both started laughing.

“I am soooo mad at my husband! He was supposed to come around and tell all the neighbors we were getting horses back here.”

I thought for a moment. “Hmmm… wait a second. Last week the guy mowing our grass said some Russian people came over and said they were getting horses. Was that you?”

She thought for a moment. “Well….hmmm...we’re not Russian but the next door neighbors are Russian.” She pointed to the single other house whose back fence connects abuts our alley. “But,” she continued, “I don’t think they have any horses.”

We puzzled over that for a moment.

Then I asked, “But I don’t understand why your horses are in OUR alley pooping all over.”

She hugged me again.

“Welll…you know these neighbors?” She pointed to another set of neighbors whose side yard adjoins the part of the alley by the street.

“We hate them. They said they didn’t want us to have horses in their alley. But! My husband is a surveyor and he looked up the boundaries and that isn’t THEIR alley at all!”

(for clarity...I made you this wonderful map. You can click on it to make the image larger. ... ... you're welcome!)

Hmmmm…

Cookies versus another argument. I thought hard. Hmmm…. Hmmm…

“Welll…I still don’t understand,” I said in a mournful voice already recognizing there probably wouldn’t be any cookies, “If you knew that was OUR alley why would you let your horses poop in there?”

She hugged me again.

She started sounding pretty aggressive. “Welll…I just really thought that they thought it was THEIR alley. And who was that man YOU were yelling at anyway?”

I was confused. This woman was having more mood swings than me AFTER my hysterectomy but PRIOR to finding hormone replacement therapy that worked.

“Ummm…” I said, edging away from what I perceived as a possible imminent hug. “That was the guy that bought our patio set and I thought he owned that huge black dog.”

“Oh.” She thought. “That dog. That is my Granddaughters rescue dog. We just got him. When we got the horses.”

In full abandonment of potential cookies I forged ahead. “So…anyway…we’re going to need you to put up a fence or something to keep your horses from pooping there in the alley and getting out of the gate when we use it.”

She narrowed her eyes at me. I gulped.

Then she laughed gaily and said, “No problem…I’ll have my son clean up the horse manure and we’ll put up a small fence to keep them in our yard.”

I edged away.

I was getting dizzy. Now I know how people feel when they talk to ME!

“Okay, that’ll be great!” She lunged at me again and gave me another hug. That woman was seriously affectionate.

And now.

Here it is. Monday night…

AND…

There are still horses and horse poop and a huge, black dog in my alley.

And we didn’t get any cookies here.

I did, however, receive a text message from the guy that bought the patio furniture saying…(and I quote)…”Did u chs any horses 2day? Yeehaw!”

Yeah.

So.

Maybe I can get him to bring us some cookies.

And clean up the horse poop.

Sigh…